Why Don't Doctors Talk To Us About Self-Care? (And How To Bring It Up)

These days, "self-care" is a household term. The self-care movement—grown in response to our modern, high-stress lifestyle born of the digital age and its accompanying mental health crisis—has taken hold of our collective consciousness. We know we're supposed to spend time on ourselves, doing things that heal and restore our spirits and fill our cup back up. Conversations about what self-care looks like have flooded social media and wellness spaces (hello!), but one place where they're conspicuously absent? The doctor's office.

The survey, conducted by the Harris Poll on behalf of Samueli Integrative Health Programs, asked more than 1,000 adults and more than 300 physicians about self-care. A whopping 96% of those docs called self-care an "essential" part of a person's health, but nearly half of them say patients don't seem interested in talking about it. Weird, because 57% of patients say they want to talk to their doctors about what's important in their lives, 66% wish their doctor would give them more self-care guidance, and 65% want their doc involved in "all aspects" of their health.

"What these results show us is that patients have a strong desire for their physicians to be involved in more aspects of their health—beyond pills and procedures," Wayne Jonas, M.D., executive director of Samueli Integrative Health Programs, said in a news release. "They want a fuller partnership and a relationship where they can discuss their health and well-being in other, deeper ways that impact them. As physicians, it's important that we listen to these desires and adjust how we treat our patients. We need to organize our practices to support behavior change."

What's holding doctors back these days from bringing self-care up themselves? The biggest thing is time: 78% of physicians say there just doesn't tend to be enough time during appointments to talk about self-care, even though more than nine in 10 physicians want to be giving their patients more information on this crucial part of wellness.

"A part of my work is to get physicians and health care providers to include self-care as part of their questionnaire—self-care including exercise, diet, sleep habits, relationships, meditation, etc.," Eva Selhub, M.D., a resilience expert and coach who previously worked as a medical director and senior physician at Massachusetts General Hospital, tells mbg in an interview. "The bottom line is it takes self-awareness on both the part of the patient and the doctor."

"As a doctor I can promise you that I'm not a mind reader or psychic," Selhub once wrote at mbg. "In today's fast-paced and high-stress world, depression is more common than most people realize. There are many ways your doctor can help you, guide you, or simply be there to listen. Often, just owning up to it and talking about how you really feel can help."