How To Stop Freaking Out All The Time

We all experience intense anxiety sometimes. But unfortunately, for some people, “freaking out” is a weekly or even daily occurrence. It's not the healthiest reaction to have on a regular basis; in fact, in my practice, I call this creating "Everyday PTSD."

Some people develop Everyday PTSD because they live in complete fear of the uncontrollable and the unknown. As a result, they experience ordinary stressors as life-or-death situations when in reality they're simply over-thinking. Freaking out all the time is traumatizing to themselves and possibly those around them.

Catch yourself before using distorted conversational terms and phrases that aren’t accurate, either in your head or in conversation. (“Ohmygod, that’s THE worst thing ever!")

Don’t say, “My mom doesn’t care about me.” Instead, focus on the facts. Your mother called two days ago and she said she couldn’t attend the event. That’s it, there’s not more to it!

It’s very anxiety-provoking to ask, “Do you want to go out on a date with me?” Whether you're asking or being asked, male or female; a question like this makes anyone anxious. It puts them on the spot, to say the least. It’s just like asking, “Do you really like me?”

These kind of questions typically have a hidden statement about how you feel. Imagine saying, “I’d love to take you out to dinner,” or “I really enjoy spending time with you.”

We are not perfect people. Did you get that memo? Well, let me remind you anyway. Human beings make mistakes and we make many of them. If I’m supposed to meet a client at 9am and I realize, as I’m driving, that I won’t be there until 10 minutes later, it doesn’t do me any good to call that client and say, “Hey, so there’s a lot of traffic and I wanted you to know that I’m really sorry, but I’m going to be 10 minutes late.”

I know that sounds scary if you’ve never practiced meditation, but let’s approach it differently. How about breathing affirmation? When you feel yourself slipping into a negative mentality, just take yourself away from the situation.

Go to a quiet space; it can be your favorite armchair, on the grass in the park or even inside your car. Sit with your eyes closed and just breathe. Empty your thoughts. (If it helps, imagine three boxes stacked on top of each other. Each time you breathe, take one box away until nothing is left but empty space.)

We as human beings weren’t designed to know the future or know what another person is thinking. But you were designed to figure out who you are as a person and to love yourself. Living is about sharing your essence and allowing other people to share theirs.

As entertaining as it might be to see a giant scoreboard behind every person’s head that counted each time they did something right or each time they did something wrong, it just doesn’t exist. And it shouldn’t.

I don’t believe it’s accurate to say, “Oh, Jim shouldn’t have done that,” because, in all honesty, SAYS WHO? Who says we have to do things a certain way to be right, anyway?

Saying, “I have to get my nails done,” or “I have to get across town to pick up my kids;” these things aren’t necessary for your survival (or your sanity) and placing too much significance to them just traumatizes yourself. Saying you have to or you need to, it’s as if you’d literally drop dead if you didn’t get your nails done. It might make you uncomfortable, but c’mon, you’ll live.

I invite you to use more accurate language: “I’d really enjoy getting my nails done,” or “I’m planning to get across town to pick up my kids.” You can really get some peace of mind just by taking the pressure off yourself.

Anxiety is a serious contender when it comes to major health issues, and for good reason. It affects our psychology, mental capacities, sleep patterns, eating habits, confidence levels, and so much more.