I'm busy. We're all busy. However, in the past year, I noticed that the busier I was, the more numb I felt. Although I was jumping from one crisis to another, feeling needed and important, I wasn't truly living and experiencing life. I was feeling lonely, exhausted, and overwhelmed. While complaining about this, a friend asked me, "Well, what do you do for yourself?" After a long pause, I whispered, nothing. Seriously. I was so busy taking care of the needs of those around me that I repeatedly ignored and broke the commitments I had made to myself. Resentment and fatigue were starting to creep in. Something needed to change.
I love yoga. Along with my demanding job and single-parenting a toddler, I teach a yoga class once a week. Yoga, I knew, was something I could do more of. Yoga helps me feel connected, present, and calm. So I made a commitment to myself, do yoga every day for 30 days and see what changed. I set my parameters: Every day I would spend at least 20 minutes on my mat. That's it. I even made myself a little chart.
As the days progressed, I began to look forward to my time on the mat. The first few weeks were intense. I did an active Ashtanga routine, sweating, building muscles, and pushing myself hard. It was summer and I felt energized. I began to feel stronger, I carried myself more confidently, and most importantly, I was more patient and present with others. As the 30-day mark approached, I knew I wanted—and needed—more. I had recently participated in a Yogathon that consisted of 108 sun salutations and that number just clicked. So, my journey to 108 days began.
Even though it was just a 20-minute minimum, it wasn't always easy for me to find the time. I had to be creative and committed to make it happen. By keeping my commitment, I repeatedly reinforced the message to myself that I am worthy and I am important. Other subtle pieces began to shift as well. I can't know for sure that they are all a result of my yoga practice, but here's what changed for me over the past 108 days.