How To Start Doing What You Really Want In Life
Want to break the rules a bit? Start doing what you really want, rather than what you think you should do. I dare you to be a rebel. What kind of rebel are we talking about? Let's look at the definition:
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<strong>Rebel:</strong> One who stands up for what they believe in, despite the good opinions of others. One who takes action based on what feels good to their intuition and makes decisions based on their unique purpose in life.
It's different from most definitions, I know. I strongly feel, however, that it is a necessary risk to take. It's safe to say we’ve all been there, where we've fallen pray to a massive case of "should bombs": I should go to an hour spin class and get my booty in shape, or I should go after this job, my family thinks it's the best next step for my career, or I should be able to land that yoga pose. (Ahem, this is not what yoga’s about!) Or how about this one: I should love it here, but I'm miserable. This causes unnecessary feelings of guilt.
Warning — when these "should bombs" are falling, pay attention. They can get pretty messy. Suddenly we find ourselves basing decisions and the direction of our life on what we believe other people expect of us, or what we think is the “right" thing to do.
What's next?
Now we have a strong cocktail consisting of 1 ounce fear and 1 ounce regret, plus a splash of guilt. Then, quite frankly, we feel like shit. This ends up taking us far away from listening to our intuition, or as I like to call it, our internal pot of gold.
Now, we're aching for freedom, the world’s longest vacation on a tropical island, and the winning lottery ticket. Sound familiar? This means it's time to change it up!
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So, what can we do?
How about we create a life filled with what makes us feel alive and see where we end up?
Sound a little scary yet liberating? Like you're going on an adventure you’ve dreamed of? Fantastic! Let’s get started.
It begins with creating your own rules. Yep, go ahead, get deep with yourself for a hot minute and figure out what’s really important to you. Don't think about what society, your parents, or even your friends have told you is important.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What makes me feel free and most alive?
- How do I like to spend time with people I care about?
- What sparks my passion and revs up my enthusiasm? How could I could spend hours (if not days) doing ____ and actually lose track of time?
- How would I ideally like to spend my week, days, and weekends?
- What would my ideal work place be? Who would I work with (if anyone)?
- What ways do I actually enjoy moving my body?
- What helps me feel relaxed and joyful?
- How do I most enjoy helping others?
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Jot down your answers. Elaborate as much as you’d like, create more questions, dig deeper. Note whatever helps you gain more clarity about your joys in life.
Next, let's focus on the contrast.
- What am I willing to say no to in life, in order to say yes to what I do want?
- What guilt am I willing to let go of in order to thrive?
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Write it out. I encourage you to put that list of "‘what makes me come alive" somewhere you can see it regularly throughout your day. (It makes great fridge art.)
Now, start integrating. Baby steps. It’s the subtle shifts that create radical change.
Start with one thing you can do during the week that will help you feel more joyful.
Does it seem too scary? I'm going to give you a little nudge here. The world needs you, your unique gifts, your unique personality, your unique laugh, your unique quirks, all of it. And the more you give yourself permission to be more you, the more you inspire others to do the same.
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Good news: authenticity and passion are contagious.
So let’s stop trying to fit into the Tiffany Blue box we’ve created for ourselves and be rebels. Start today. One baby step at a time. Let’s not over complicate this, it begins with the decision to try.
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Ashley Cebulka is a life coach, motivational speaker, and writer based in Charleston, South Carolina. Her passion is to inspire others to rediscover their life purpose and trust their intuition, while encouraging them to get out of their comfort zone and empower themselves to create a life they love.