Stuck In A Negative Pattern? Here Are 6 Ways To Break Through

Photo: Adithya Reza

Shifting stubborn negative patterns is not for the faint of heart. Even if you feel like you're at the mercy of a pattern that has been with you for a lifetime, change is always possible.

As a psychic intuitive, I work with people from all walks of life, but I've noticed that clients consistently feel haunted by certain patterns. They may feel that they are destined to get one chronic health condition after another, or to go broke over and over again, or to continually attract romantic partners who do not want to commit. Here are a few points to consider when you feel cursed by a pattern, so you can regain some control and hope.

1. Start from a place of healing.

Instead of thinking you need to "fight" your negative patterns, try "healing" them instead. Through my work with clients and in my own life, I have noticed that the word healing—whether you are thinking about it in terms of your journey or discussing it with others—can have a magical effect. While the word fight is defensive and has a kind of "hunker down and pull up the drawbridge" energy, the word healing has a positive connotation, so you will begin to look at the pattern through more optimistic eyes.

2. Think about where you have played into this pattern.

The next step in healing this pattern is understanding what caused it. You might have been born to parents who did not possess a lot of money or did not manage their money well. In a sense, this set you up to have money challenges. But how have you played into this pattern of not having enough? Maybe you subconsciously felt it was safer to be broke as it was all you’d ever known, or maybe you have never put enough energy and attention into your finances because your parents did not teach you that was important. Tough negative patterns often start in childhood, but we usually make choices or adopt behaviors to perpetuate them.

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3. Consider what you're willing to sacrifice.

Maybe you are working an office job that you very much want to leave. You have another source of income, like a side business you have been building and can pay your bills without the job. Your friends encourage you to leave this job you have outgrown, but your intuition whispers, "stay six more months." You’ve never had any significant savings, and by making a sacrifice to stay in that job six more months, you could heal that negative pattern—and maybe even some past childhood issues. When you are truly ready to shift a negative pattern, the universe will give you an opportunity to sacrifice something to help make this situation better.

4. To increase self-love and release the past, forgive yourself.

Whenever we begin looking at the past and how we played into a pattern, it can be tempting to start judging and shaming ourselves. This actually keeps us trapped in the negative pattern. Meeting ourselves with forgiveness and self-love is like letting some sun and fresh air into this stale old way of thinking. When you work on self-love, you will actually begin to want the best for yourself, which will help you make better, healthier choices. Don’t underestimate this step!

5. Ask for guidance from the universe.

We each have a spiritual guidance squad working behind the scenes for us, and I love helping my clients get in touch with this mystical support system. Signs, synchronicities, gut instincts, and aha ideas about how to heal this pattern will all be given to you from your squad. They have probably sent you helpful guidance about this pattern in the past that you only recognized in hindsight, because you either missed their message or ignored it. (Did a sign that you missed in the past just come to mind?) Don’t worry, you will get other opportunities and signs for as long as you live. The more present you are, and the more you work on shifting this pattern, the more assistance from the universe you will receive.

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6. Find a mentor.

If you want closer friendships, find someone who seems to have a lot of intimacy and love in their life—and study them. Ask this person how they found and built these friendships or to describe a time that they had to let go of an unhealthy friendship. If you love your partner but are always fighting, study a relationship where the couple seem to be best friends. This could help you change the energy in your relationship or maybe encourage you to move on to a different one. When I was working on healing my money issues some time back, I picked a family member and a close friend who were both excellent with money to be my mentors. I spoke with my family member often about their money habits as well as my own, and I closely observed my friend’s relationship with money. Look around your life for mentors.

Remember that shifting these patterns takes time, as well as consistent effort and reflection. You can’t control everything, but if you make a commitment to yourself to work on improving this pattern, you will come out the other side happier and healthier! Living at your highest potential will be well worth the effort.

Did the money example ring true to you? Here's some more information on how to stop approaching your finances from a scarcity mindset.

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