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How To Deal With People Who Drain Your Energy

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June 26, 2013

It's extremely important to protect yourself from negativity, to prevent it from influencing your mood, energy levels, health and behavior. If you find your mood changes immediately and you instantly become someone else in the presence of certain people, this is a good indication that you have handed your power over to them and have given up taking responsibility for yourself.

The best thing to do is simply be yourself, be true to who you are and what you believe in, and be positive and sincere. Maybe, just maybe, your behavior and energy will produce a more positive experience for everyone and create a whole new experience. You never know — you might be able to help a negative person alter their way of thinking in the direction of a better way of living. Those who are ready for you to show up in their lives will sit up and take notice, and those who aren’t, won’t.

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A negative attitude can be highly contagious, but a positive attitude can be infectious too. Spread your infection of positivity on to others, and if they want to catch it, wonderful; if not, you gave it your best shot. All you can then do is ensure that you learn to detach emotionally from the negative person; otherwise, you may find yourself in dangerous territory.

Trying to change a defiant, negative person to help them see the light may seem like a kind and compassionate gesture, but to them, if they don’t agree with what you are saying, they'll fight you and refuse to accept that what you are saying is true. They may be in denial, so let them be and just focus on being you. Replace the negativity you're getting from them with something that makes you happy.

Also, bear in mind that if you want to be accepted as you are, you also need to be willing to accept others as they are by allowing them to live and be who they choose to be. It's important that you find balance in your life and not become consumed with those around you who like to try and bring you down, as this will help keep you grounded and sane.

A great indication to see how much progress you’ve made is to place yourself around those who have always irritated you the most, the people who put you in a frenzy and know how to push your buttons, or in an environment that has always caused you copious amounts of stress. Pay attention to how you react and notice what surfaces. If something triggers you, it may simply be a reflection of something inside yourself.

As hard as it may be to believe, these types of people can often be our best teachers; they're presented to us as opportunities to learn and grow. We can generally learn a lot about ourselves from the people who pour salt into our wounds and ruffle our feathers. What I try to do is remain true to myself by staying balanced, centered and detached. That way I don’t get as easily caught up in their toxic ways.

I also take full responsibility for how I feel and act. I'm conscious of the fact that although it's very easy to pass blame, it isn’t really anyone else or any environment that causes me to feel a certain way, as much as I feel it is. It's not really our parents, boss, colleagues, spouse, children, job or working environment, but our own thoughts and perceptions that create the stress and negativity in our lives. No one can hold us back or bring us down unless we let them.

If you find yourself being lured into negativity, it's a sure sign that you've not truly mastered yourself. All that simply signifies is that there's still some work to do. Believe it or not, once you awaken and reach a place of higher consciousness, you'll readily take responsibility and accept that no one and no circumstance has the power to control how you feel, respond or behave.

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Belinda Anderson
Belinda Anderson

Belinda Anderson is a Life & Wellness Coach, Author of Living from the Inside Out, A Guide to Healing and Transforming your Life from Within, Women's Wellness Retreat Facilitator, Speaker and Meditation and Pilates teacher.

Belinda works with women who are ready to ignite their light and zest for life through one-on-one coaching, online group programs, and life-changing and soul-nourishing Wellness Retreats in Fiji and Ubud, Bali.

Belinda's mission is to help you create a life you love from the inside out so that you can live your healthiest and happiest life.