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4 Steps To Conquering Any Fear, No Matter How Big

Author:

Danielle Dowling, Psy.D.

August 02, 2016

Doctor of Psychology

By Danielle Dowling, Psy.D.

Doctor of Psychology

Danielle Dowling, Psy.D. is a doctor of psychology and life coach, helping ambitious, driven women achieve the financial, spiritual, and lifestyle abundance they desire and deserve. She holds a bachelor's in business from American University, and her master's and doctor of psychology degree from Ryokan College.

Photo by Stocksy

August 02, 2016

There is nothing to fear. Don't worry, that's not my tip for moving through it.

It's true, though. There is nothing to fear because only love is real. Let me explain: There's nothing to fear when you inherently know and surrender to the truth of who you are and the divine guidance that supports you.

And that truth says, only love is real.

Of course, if it were easy to remember this, we'd never have to worry about those pesky feelings of fear, would we? Every unexpected bill, every bad date, every tough conversation would just be another opportunity for us to practice love, to practice trust.

Unfortunately, all too often we forget that we're being guided and supported by something much greater than ourselves. And when we believe that every choice, every decision, every moment in our lives depends only on our own wisdom, our own strength, and our own capabilities—we will feel fear.

So, for most of us, fear isn't going away anytime soon. But we don't have to let it control us. We don't have to let it hold us back. We don't have to let it stop us from living the life of our dreams.

And I can show you how! The following steps will show you how to reframe and move through your fear-based thoughts every single time they appear.

1. Notice your fear.

Awareness is the key to so many of life's great problems. Start by getting present and focusing your attention on your fear when you feel it. Where is it in your body? What situation prompted it? How long does the feeling last? By paying attention to your fear, you're realizing that it isn't you; it's outside of you and it can't control you once you know that it's there.

2. Embrace your fear.

Listen, any feelings of fear are simply trying to protect you. When we sense danger—whether that's being face-to-face with a saber-tooth tiger or giving a presentation in front of our colleagues—we feel fear. And that fear is trying to protect us from humiliation, from criticism, from being tiger dinner. Once you can soften to the fact that your fear isn't out to get you, you can work with it as you move to a place of love instead.

3. Listen and reframe the story.

Now, pay attention to the story your fear is telling you. Is it telling you that if you forget something during your big presentation at work, you'll die of embarrassment? Is it telling you that posting that link on Facebook will not only land you criticism but cause you to lose all your friends? Take a look at the story your fear is telling you and ask yourself: Is it true? Will I die? Will I lose all of my friends? More often than not, the story your fear-based thought is weaving is a fictional one. So rewrite that story and tell your fear the truth.

4. Repeat this mantra.

Remind yourself that there is nothing to fear. Make it a mantra that you repeat to yourself every day. (You're so much less likely to forget that way.) Even if you're feeling at peace, repeat and remind yourself of this inherent truth every day: There is nothing to fear. Only love is real.

You are being guided and supported at every turn. When you remember that, you'll effortlessly conspire with the Universe to create the life of your dreams.

And there's absolutely nothing to fear about that.