The Spiritual Shift That Eased My Anxiety When Nothing Else Worked

For as long as I can remember, anxiety was my companion. As a young child, it showed up as severe separation anxiety where, even in the safety of my own home, my mother couldn't leave my sight without me hysterically screaming. By age 12, I had an ulcer and my anxiety morphed into constant worry about getting other diseases because various symptoms convinced me that I was developing a horrible illness. As time went on, I spent years experiencing out-of-the-blue panic attacks that were marked by an overwhelming feeling of impending doom, shaking, sweating, nausea, sleeplessness, and an overriding fear that I was going to die.

Talk therapy was a good start and it helped me in my journey of sorting through the layers of my thoughts and emotions. My super-high anxiety was reduced a bit, but simply questioning these unreasonable thoughts did not create rock-solid, lasting inner peace. This was like trying to plug a leaky, corroded pipe. One fearful thought might retreat, but then another would shift the fear somewhere else. For example, my fear of blood and needles diminished, but I couldn't fly without a tranquilizer. Another method I practiced was deep breathing, but again, this only brought a moment of relief before the displaced fear would just break through somewhere else.

I realized that I falsely believed that my anxiety could keep me safe. I began reading, journaling, and meditating in an effort to be more mindful. And, I wholly dedicated myself to a spiritual practice. For me, that practice was and still is through the seminal spiritual text, A Course in Miracles, although there are a thousand paths to peace.

Instead of “please make me be okay” or “please heal me” or “please heal them”, I instead say: "I am willing to witness miracles" or “Help me to see this differently.”

By deeply questioning my beliefs, releasing everything to my Inner Therapist, and praying for a healed perception, I make space in my mind for a miracle. This miracle shifts my perception from fear to love, so I’m more aware of the interconnectedness and eternal Love that permeates everything. As the awareness of Love returns to my mind, anxiety falls away. As a result, I no longer live with anxiety. I live with peace. This awareness of Love heals and it is joyfully available to each one of us right now if we so choose.