Last year I was sitting on my teenage daughter’s floor, helping her pack up for school before bed, but when I was ready to stand up—I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t stand up. My body was too large and unwieldy. She watched me nervously, as I rolled over to my hands and knees and laboriously pushed off the floor to finally stand up. I even moaned. Like an injured animal. It just came out. It was hard to stand up! I had gained 40 pounds and now I found it difficult to move.
This shouldn’t have been a shock. I had recently had a doctor’s appointment in which she had told me, lovingly, "Katherine. You can’t gain 10 pounds every year. You have to figure this out. You’re gorgeous the way you are, but you can’t keep gaining weight."
There was something in her saying "You’re gorgeous" to me with full eye contact that really hit me. I did not feel gorgeous. I felt out-of-control and scared. But I felt so loved and supported and I felt her faith in me that I was going to figure this out. I was aware of what food to eat. I had been gluten-free for a few years but was still gaining. I was a registered nurse, an aromatherapist, and an energy healer for goodness sake. I really felt I should be able to figure this out!
I had tried punishing and unfriendly diets in the past. I’d done the master cleanse and felt like my tooth enamel was gone. I had done Weight Watchers—which made me rebellious and confused—eating McDonald's in the parking lot after weigh-in. Nothing had worked, so I had given up and decided to try just loving my body for who and what it was. It was marvelous. I really worked at it. I used energy therapies, Reiki, and EFT and found amazing coaches to help me really develop acceptance for my body, whatever it looked like. Also, as a nurse, I work with birthing women and my adoration and love for the female body and its strength had ballooned! I had self-love. All women’s bodies were beautiful! Hooray! But I still was gaining weight. And now I couldn’t get off the floor.
I couldn’t go back to being mean to myself or my body. I couldn’t go back to the nasty trap of thinking I needed some impossible idealized body to be valuable.
What could I do? Here is what I did to lose 40 pounds in six months and get off the floor with ease: