When you speak, there are infinite possibilities of what you could say. There are limitless ways to describe the human experience. And speaking isn’t just about vocalizing thoughts. You speak in many ways. You communicate with your thoughts and imaginings, your body language speaks volumes, and sometimes what you don’t say speaks louder than what you do say. From moment-to-moment, you are communicating with others and yourself. And the quality of this communication determines your results – you create as you speak!
I began studying language early on. By age 18, I was student body president of the largest community college in the US. By age 20, I was the #1 corporate trainer for Tony Robbins.
And by age 24, I launched my own company and signed my first client, Mercedes-Benz, within two days of deciding to start a business. Quickly I rose to the top of my field, and to many, I was an enigma.
How could a “kid” with so little experience produce consistent, outstanding results? I was often asked what my secret was. There was no secret. It was a way of being and communicating with purpose, poise, precision, and power!
Here are 10 ways to practice speaking at a higher level than ever before. As you integrate these insights, you will elegantly cultivate cooperative relationships and produce successful results in business and every area of daily life.
1. Take ownership of how your communication is received.
Two people can make a similar request and one is met with resistance while the other is welcomed. What’s different? The response you receive is a result of how you frame your language. Embrace this tenet: my communication is the response I get. This empowers you to choose language purposefully.
2. Honor your self.
Before you speak, listen to the wisdom of your body. Are you feeling resistance or flow? If you allow circumstances or people to pressure you into responding hastily, you'll give away your power. If you feel anything less than empowered, or neutral, pause – inhale and exhale. Be silent; go for a walk. Ask yourself, what is the highest choice?
3. Prior to entering a conversation, ask – what is my intent?
Clarity is power! See your results accomplished in your mind. When you are clear, you will not get influenced by other people’s agenda’s, which may or may not be aligned with your purpose.
4. Have important conversations face-to-face or on the phone, and not through email or text message.
There is too much room for misinterpretation. Choose an environment where you won’t be interrupted, and bring your genuine attention to the present moment.
5. Honor the other.
Making someone wrong or trying to be right extinguishes your power. If you desire to communicate effectively with someone, it is essential to honor his or her map of the world, regardless of whether or not you agree. This allows you to gather information and more easily understand their perspective, which will ultimately support you in creating consistent win-win agreements.
6. Be mindful of your body language.
Sit or stand up tall; elongate your spine. Pull your shoulders back; raise your head high. Inhale a deep breathe as you lengthen your body. I remember Tony Robbins saying, “Motion creates emotion.” How you move influences how you feel, and thus how you communicate.
7. Ask quality questions.
Your results will mirror the quality of the questions that you ask. Asking quality questions will allow you to gather information, clarify meaning, understand another’s point of view, cultivate rapport, attract resources, explore opportunities, direct attention, summon empowering states, expand imagination, resolve challenges, achieve your vision, and more.
8. Flexibility is power.
Being flexible means going with the flow. When you are fluid, like water, there is not one terrain through which you could not travel. If you encounter resistance in a conversation, simply change your approach. The person who is most clear and flexible in any interaction is the influencing factor.
9. Be clear on intent and non-attached to outcome.
If you lust after a result, the underlying assumption is – something is missing. Attachment presupposes lack, which disintegrates your power. Speak your vision into existence with authority knowing that it is done in divine order.
10. Be still.
The source of your presence and power is stillness. Honor the silent space. It’s the space between notes that makes music. Similarly, in communication, calculated pauses are just as important as choosing words wisely. When you speak, give others and the universe an opportunity to respond, while you listen and observe.