Life can seem like an uphill battle if we meet it with resistance. There are circumstances beyond our control and expectations that will be shattered. Rather than resisting life, if we meet it with acceptance, compassion, and an open mind, it will begin to flow more freely. Acceptance is the key that sets us free. Here are some truths I've learned on my journey that keep me on the path to happiness:
1. You are doing the best you can.
You are only doing the best you can with what you know. Once we accept this, we begin to be much more gentle with ourselves. There's no point in beating ourselves up about past choices and actions, as we only did what we thought was best at that time. We are all a work in progress, and we are all constantly learning. Let go of perfection, and let go of harsh judgment.
2. Everyone's journey is different.
Your path will be different from that of your friends or your family. Whether you put your career aside to travel or get married much later or earlier than your friends, there's no need to compare. Your life journey is completely unique; it's OK if not everyone understands it either. It’s about you, not them.
3. You can't keep everyone happy.
This is a losing battle. Everyone has different likes and needs, and they will be different from yours. Not everyone will be accepting of you and your decisions either. And that's OK. That doesn't mean that you need to keep trying to please them or gain their acceptance. You could lose yourself in trying to do so.
4. You can't change people.
Maybe you've been in a relationship in which you thought you could change the person for the better. Or maybe you have a friend or family member who you think needs fixing or saving. Most of us have learned the hard way that we cannot change people. No amount of pushing, preaching, or nagging can change a person. Change has to come internally from them. All you can do is accept them as they are and set an example.
5. What goes around comes around.
Every action accumulates karma. Be mindful of your actions and how you react to situations—even when you feel wronged by someone. Wayne Dyer said, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." Remember to think before you act and take responsibility for your actions and their consequences.
6. Age is just a number.
Age is just a concept created by our minds. It's easy to let age-related expectations interfere with our lives. Some of us have arbitrary ideas of when we should have our career in a certain place or when we should get married. Life can't be lived on a schedule. Do what feels right for you. Don't let anyone else's idea of what's "right" or "normal" influence your choices. You'll be much happier.
7. There's no such thing as a right or wrong decision.
If we put too much pressure on ourselves to make the "right" decision, we may feel paralyzed and be unable to make any decision at all. Try to think less in terms of the right and wrong polarity. Even if we feel that we have made a mistake or chosen the longer road to get to our goal, you learned lessons you wouldn't have learned otherwise. Same goes for our career and relationships—even if we make a slight detour, we learned from it. There's never a wrong choice.
8. Judgment only limits our minds.
Every time we judge a person for their actions or appearance, we only end up limiting ourselves. A closed mind is a breeding ground for ignorance. Try to foster an open mind. Learn to see others with compassion, empathy, and understanding. Likewise, if someone judges you, that is a reflection of a limitation in their mind. It may not have anything to do with you on a personal level.
9. The world is a classroom, and we are the students.
Life will give us many lessons—some more painful than others. Our job is to look for the lessons in every situation and every person we come across. We attract people that will give us growth. Next time you feel hurt or triggered by someone, look for the bigger lesson behind it. A lesson will keep repeating itself until it is learned.
10. Setting boundaries is not a bad thing.
There are times that we will need to put some boundaries in place. We may have come across relationships or situations that feel toxic and leave us feeling depleted rather than refreshed. In situations like these, give yourself permission to say no or limit the time spent in draining situations. You are allowed to protect yourself. You deserve it.