Positive Thinking Not Getting You What You Want? Try This Instead
A lot has been written about the power of positive thinking. You don't have to go far to find books, podcasts, and seminars dedicated to the topic. But have you noticed that positive thinking rarely works in bringing about lasting change? It requires a lot of effort and most of the time offers few results. And, all too often, when you work really hard at positive thinking and things don't change like you want them to, you decide that there must be something wrong with you.
What if that's not true? What if there is nothing wrong with you? And, what if there was something beyond positive thinking that actually worked in creating the life you truly desire?
Rather than the nonstop effort of positive thinking, here are four easy, pragmatic tools for creating change:
1. Choosing rather than doing
Most of the modalities that focus on positive thinking and affirmations are all about doing. You have to do this. You have to do that. It's all about effort and hard work and willpower. Ugh. No one can do this for long!
My point of view is that everything is choice. You don't have to fix anything. You don't have to fix YOU. What if you are not nearly as screwed up as you think you are?
A great question you can ask is, "What's right about me that I'm not getting?" This question will take you out of the judgment of you; it will move you beyond everything you've decided is wrong with you and into an awareness of the brilliance of you.
From this place, you are empowered to choose anything you would like to choose.
2. Letting go rather than overcoming
Positive thinking doesn't work because what you're doing is trying to use a positive affirmation to overcome a negative point of view that you already have about yourself. Your point of view creates your reality. If you have negative points of view about yourself and would like a different reality, you've got to change your points of view.
The easiest way to change your point of view is to say, "Interesting point of view. I have that point of view" for every point of view that you notice. Say it three to ten times until you start to feel lighter. What happens is that your current points of view, the ones that are creating your reality, become simply interesting rather than big and real and true. And when they're just interesting, you now have the ability to choose something else, something that actually works for you.
3. Releasing thoughts rather than replacing them
What if all of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you have that you are trying to replace with happier thoughts aren't even yours? Yep. It's true. Most of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you are experiencing don't even belong to you.
We are all like psychic radios picking up on everyone around us that means almost all of the thoughts that are running through your head aren't yours. No wonder all of your positive thinking attempts can't make it stop. You're trying to fix thoughts, feelings, and emotions that don't even belong to you!
Check this out for yourself. For three days, for every single thought, feeling, or emotion you have, ask, "Who does this belong to?" If you notice that you feel lighter when you ask this question, those thoughts, feelings, and emotions aren’t yours. Simply say, "Return to sender" and notice the joy that shows up.
4. Asking questions rather than stating affirmations
The thing about affirmations is that they are based on decisions and conclusions. You decided what was wrong with you that needed to change. You concluded that a particular positive thought was the answer. Decisions and conclusions stop new possibilities from showing up because your cognitive mind can only recognize what it already knows.
To go beyond what your mind already knows, ask questions. Questions have the power to change anything.
Four empowering questions that will create dynamic change are What is this? What can I do with it? Can I change it? How can I change it? Ask these questions about everything that you would like to be different. These four questions will serve you better than anything in life.
If positive thinking and affirmations have not worked for you, you are not alone. And, there is nothing wrong with you!
Lasting change is possible. The life you truly desire to have is possible. Ask questions. Ask questions. Ask questions! Rather than looking for an affirmation that is based on your conclusions, ask a question that will open the door to all possibilities.
What question can you ask today that will change your life and give you everything you desire?
Ready to learn how to fight inflammation and address autoimmune disease through the power of food? Join our 5-Day Inflammation Video Summit with mindbodygreen’s top doctors.