You've been burned in love before—maybe several times in the past—and maybe you've come to avoid love and relationships altogether.
When you're single, life is calm and happy. When you're in a relationship, you find yourself struggling and hurting. You can't find the right person for you. None of your dates has worked out.
If you've come out of a difficult relationship, a bitter breakup, or just haven't found the right partner for you, you may have built a wall around your heart. This self-protective instinct may, in fact, keep your partner from showing up.
You wouldn't know if Mr. or Ms. Right showed up, because you've already eliminated them in your mind. Here are some specific warning signs that fear and resistance are walling in your heart.
1. You have endless excuses about why someone isn't right for you.
You focus on the many ways you're incompatible or not right for each other.
2. You make judgments about people without getting to know them.
You evaluate people based on stereotypes or preconceived notions. Your mind tears others down.
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3. You compare the person to other people who have hurt you previously.
You believe this person you've met, like the last, is going to cause you pain.
4. You replay the past in your mind over and over.
The past is like the fiery storm in your mind that holds you back and keeps you stuck. It's the nonstop record player.
5. You haven't grieved or let go of a past relationship.
You’re still holding onto the hurt and pain. You're carrying the burden of grief and trapped by the emotional weight.