I Tried 20+ Dating Apps For People Over 40 — Here Are The Best

This is an app for serious daters that is potentially worth it, if you want to use premium features and go to in-person events. The events part was a major plus–they’re pretty frequent and offer a different way of meeting and interacting with people other than the usual swipe and chat. 

Events I saw included speed dating, food tasting, happy hour, and even a surfing event (for a reduced cost for subscribers) that are local to the area. While I didn’t personally attend these events, I do think that they absolutely would enhance the capacity to meet and see if there is chemistry in person with fun shared activities.

All that said, it takes a long time to set up your profile, so I was hoping for better matches on it than what I personally found. Notably, the users are generally older and more conservative. This one wasn’t personally a great fit for me, and I would not have paid for it, as opposed to potentially upgrading with other apps (once LaVette goes premium, I would probably give that one the title of the best paid option).

In general, though, Match is not for people wanting hookups or to waste time. This is for folks who want to invest time and money into finding a dedicated and specific relationship. 

Start with a weeklong free trial with limited features, then subscribe if you wish with subscriptions ranging from about $16/month to $27/month.

My OkCupid experience is twofold. I used OkCupid in its previous iteration before it turned into the swipe-based app that it is now. I really enjoyed the longer profiles and responses I got when I previously used the app, but my account was deleted due to inactivity.

Jumping back onto the app now in its current stage was interesting; it still had some of the elements I really enjoyed with the previous iteration. Quizzes still dominate the experience, which serves as a fun way to get the whole thing going again.

I remembered answering hundreds of questions before and am currently only at about 30 or so. 

One pet peeve: You are automatically shared in other Match groups that you may not be interested in. This is found in the settings, and there doesn’t appear to be an option to turn it off.

OkCupid is free to use, though there are upgrades that can be purchased for even more features and filters. Subscriptions cost $35 on a month-to-month basis or $17/month if you sign up for six months.

I’ve used Hinge for almost three years now, and my experience has been fairly mixed. I’ve met some people that I thought were good connections for possible relationships who later just ghosted out of nowhere or who realized they weren’t actually ready for a relationship (one tried to come back late last year, but I was long past that). I also matched with several people who, despite hoping for a better connection, just didn’t line up in person or in texts. I actually am friends with one of them despite things not working out as they were really mature. 

On the other end, last year I met a scammer on this site who ruined my experience with Hinge completely. The person lied on the app about where they were from, and oh so much more. It was a really terrible experience that made me pause dating for about half a year. I know that that is not the totality of the experience for others, but that was mine.

As a more positive reference, a friend of mine in her 30s had a completely opposite experience and ended up marrying someone within a year of meeting someone on Hinge. Experiences vary, and perhaps I just ran into a really, really bad one. I didn’t meet anyone new this round that ended in a date, but I also didn’t meet any scammers—so I consider that a huge personal win.

Hinge has a solid free version that works well. There are also two premium options: Hinge+ is $15/month and includes unlimited likes, seeing who likes you, fine-tuning preferences, and having more ways to discover matches. HingeX is $25/month and gives you the opportunity to get recommended to users sooner, to get more personalized matches, and to get prioritized when you like someone.

Tinder gets a lot of grief for being strictly a hookup app, but I have to say, it’s my personal favorite for meeting folks casually. Granted, I have met some folks who just straight up lied to get a hookup or attempted to get a few hookups when I was traveling, but that could be on any dating app really.

People on Tinder are pretty “what you see is what you get” in a lot of ways. I feel like they are more upfront generally (obviously with some exceptions as I’ve personally experienced) with what they want, in good or even potentially horrifying ways. I feel like this is a bit like the Los Angeles or New York of dating apps, so to speak. 

That said, if you do date in one area for a long time, it’s going to get a little more difficult. You may end up seeing people you’ve swiped left on multiple times coming back into your matches because you’ve swiped on so many over time on the app. I personally find better matches on Tinder in other cities and locations (there are people who use it worldwide, so there’s easy adaptability) than in my home city.

While I know that there are folks that have found long-term relationships, Tinder is good for casual dating and getting yourself back out there after a bit of time. While it can absolutely lead to serious connections, it’s really about empowering yourself and enjoying the dating experience as a whole for the totality of everything.

Tinder's free version has everything you need to swipe, match, and chat. Upgrades cost between $10 and $40 a month, or less if you lock yourself into a longer contract.

Excluding one encounter with a person who turned rude and hostile after I canceled a date, I had some pleasant conversations with a few people on Bumble, including someone with different politics than me who was actually quite friendly and nice.

That said, I didn’t find luck on Bumble this round. To be honest, I personally prefer to be messaged first. So does Liz, 46, who tells me, “ I actually like when they message first. I actually haven't had much luck on Bumble.” 

I did end up messaging a few people on Bumble to get out of my comfort zone. I matched with a few people who didn’t respond or who just dropped the conversation entirely out of nowhere. Liz experienced similar. “I feel like on Bumble, they get lazy, and they don't continue the conversation,” she says.

That said, I know that other users have had better experiences on the app, including the boost to self-esteem regardless of the outcome of matches. One review on Bumble’s success story blog by fellow writer Stephanie Yeboah says, “I realized that I was enjoying dating for the first time ever. Even as an introvert, I was having fun putting myself in the driver’s seat and actively taking part in conversations. After a few months of this, I decided to try out my newfound confidence and ability to put myself out there in other parts of my life.” 

To that end, the app really is about empowering women to embrace their inner and outer awesome to help flip the script on the dating scene.

Bumble is free to use, or you can purchase premium memberships for additional features, including advanced filters, travel mode, the ability to see who has liked you already, extended time with your matches, the ability to get spotlighted, and much more. Premium accounts vary from as short as a week to an entire lifetime subscription. These premium options range from $4 to $22 per week depending on the package you opt for and how long you subscribe, with longer subscriptions having a lower weekly rate. You can also buy a lifetime membership for $250.

While I didn’t personally use this app, forty-year-old single mom Tori did. “Stir is like a low-grade option of Match,” she tells me. While the app can’t discriminate against folks who aren’t parents, “90% of people who use the app are parents.”

She met a partner who she dated briefly with the app. The person had messaged her and came up in her matches. For her, it was important to be matched with someone who had kids already and didn’t want anymore.

She has her own children and went on get-togethers with the person she met on Stir with their kids. They arranged hangouts that worked for their schedules and allowed their kids to hang out while they conversed. Her relationship didn’t work out, but she did find the experience to be positive.

Stir premium accounts vary from as short as a week to a six-month subscription. One week will cost $20, while monthly plans range from $12 to $30 per month depending on length. Premium features include knowing who likes you, the ability to message before you match, the ability to control who can see your profile, free Superlikes weekly, knowing when your messages are read, and the ability to "boost" your profile to potentially expand your chances to meet people.

Since I was raised Catholic (but am not anymore), I decided to give the app a look for myself. I had gone to churches when I had been abroad traveling last year, so I do have a connection to religion, even if it is not what I currently view as something for my personal targets. I composed my profile like I would guess my conservative family would enjoy: complete with pictures of me in churches saying that I wanted a God-fearing person with similar values. 

I received several heartfelt messages from folks who wanted to connect. Even without me having a personal connection to religion in the same way, I can absolutely see why folks would see value in this particular app. Matches talked to me about their values in vulnerable and personal ways, tying them back to their commitment to their faith.

I don’t have to be religious to respect and understand how folks would want to have those types of discussions with their potential partners, especially for long-term partnerships. These are folks looking for long-term commitments (not hookups) who are being served in this app. It’s absolutely an app that folks who are dedicated to their faith should consider.

Subscription is required for messaging on Christian Mingle, with prices ranging from around $42/month down to $20/month when you commit to half a year.

You can meet someone by looking at their profile (or “Vibe”) to learn about three things that the user describes themselves as. From there, if you’re interested, you can look at a few details about them such as their lifestyle, career, family, and love and relationships.

If you want to connect with them after seeing a second video, you’re able to message them and schedule a digital video date.

You can also meet singles through their message boards or fun, interactive events, which give you access to folks you might not have naturally connected to. It has a community feel to it that is interactive in ways that other apps simply don’t have at the forefront.

The onboarding experience had a little bit of a learning curve because the app is so different. It is best viewed on a desktop or laptop computer. The community is also very small currently, with only about 500 users as of this writing.

I was able to attend a community event that was about an hour long, but currently there aren’t a ton of these events on their schedule yet.

The event I attended was really fun though: It began as a chat and then changed to breakout rooms, where I was paired with random folks to discuss items in the main discussion for a couple of minutes.

I had a couple of fun and delightful one on one chats as well as a small group chat with folks attending to discuss various dating things. It was a bit like a virtual speed dating session without having to leave my house, which I really enjoyed on multiple levels. 

I can see promise in using this app for an extended period of time even outside of dating purposes. The crowd was a bit older with several people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

These are serious daters who are committed to their dating journey. I also found that there were a lot of folks committed to their mental wellness who were seeking mature connections with foundations in growth.

Out of all of the dating apps I tried, this one was the most exciting to me personally. I’m really looking forward to seeing how this develops.

La Vette is currently completely free to use, though they plan to go premium in the future. You can currently access all of the features on this app without a cost, though you do have to apply and get approved to access the app. All users are vetted and background-checked before gaining entry.