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I Tested The 8 Best Dating Sites For Serious Relationships

Kesiena Boom, M.S.
By Kesiena Boom, M.S.
mbg Contributor
Kesiena Boom, M.S., is a sociologist and writer. She has a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from the University of Manchester and a master’s degree in Gender Studies from Lund University.
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As a single person in New York City, I've spent years on dating apps hoping to meet a potential partner. My time spent swiping and scrolling has given me important intel into the world of online dating.

I've seen firsthand how using the wrong app can lead to connecting with people who are only interested in hook-ups or are not compatible with my personality.

This led me to create a carefully curated approach to identifying apps that are actually suited to something serious. Here my vetted list of dating apps to meet a lifelong partner (and my personal experience from testing them).

The best dating apps for serious relationships:
  • Best for marriage seekers: eharmony
  • Best paid dating site: Match.com
  • Best for daters over 50: OurTime
  • Best free dating app: OkCupid
  • Best for men seeking women: Bumble
  • Best for women seeking men: Hinge
  • Best for queer women: HER
  • Best for Jewish daters: Jdate
Best for marriage seekers

eHarmony

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View on eHarmony | Price varies
Known for
Serious relationships
Main age demographic
30+
Available on
IOS, Android

eharmony sets itself apart from other dating sites by opting for an 80-question compatibility test to connect daters. It uses a combination of your personality type, communication style, likes and dislikes, motivation style, and personality characteristics into consideration when finding your most compatible partner. According to the company, this quiz is key to the brand's successful track record for marriage.

This lengthy quiz might sound intimidating (or boring) to you, but I promise it pays off in the long run. It quickly weeds out people who aren’t committed to dating or are not searching for a serious relationship. On top of that, “[eharmony] is a paid site and that filters out many (but not all) people who are not serious” explains Eddie Hernandez, Dating Coach. 

Pros

  • Extremely thorough matching process
  • Compatibility scores for every potential match
  • Lower risk of time wasters
  • Large active user base
  • Detailed profiles

Cons

  • Almost no capability with free membership
  • Many people still don't have detailed profiles
  • Takes a long time to set up

My personal experience

As someone who has been looking for a serious relationship for several years, it was exciting to see a dating app with so much success matching singles. When I signed up for the app, however, I struggled with the quiz. I couldn’t relate to the majority of questions they asked.

For example, one of the quiz questions is “What makes you most interested in someone?” The multiple choice answers were their career, financial security, health and fitness, warm-heartedness, or appearance, and I was required to pick two. While I can see how these are important elements for finding a long term partner for some people, they aren’t for me. Warm-heartedness was my first choice, but I couldn’t choose another as they all focus on external factors instead of getting to know someone on the inside, which is what’s important for me. 

Additionally, the activities they list, such as sailing, equestrian, shooting, and cricket, among others, also are not relatable for me. I don’t do any of these activities, and the things I do really enjoy, like slacklining, for example, are not listed (and there isn’t an option to write them in). Lastly, you have to report your income in the quiz, which doesn’t sit right for me as an element they use to determine who I’m compatible with.

Overall the app feels geared toward traditional relationships and values. If these interests, values, and questions are important relationship criteria for you, however, this app could be a great fit. 

In our full eHarmony review, our testers felt it was a solid pick for those who were ready to "financially invest in finding a serious relationship," especially if other options simply aren't working for you.

Cost

  • 6 months: $359 ($59.84 per month)
  • One year: $388 ($32.25 per month)
  • 2 years: $699 ($29.13 per month)
Best paid dating site

Match.com

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About
Website & app with detailed profiles and fastest-growing user base for seniors
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+

The most established dating site on our list, Match.com has been around for over 25 years. It has a rap as the dating site for those seeking a serious relationship, with a user base of over 39 million daters. The majority of Match.com users are between 30 and 49 years old with a fastest growing demographic of 50+ users.

Similar to eHarmony, the app has a powerful algorithm that uses each user’s quiz responses (taken when you sign up) to match them with compatible daters. Generally, you won’t find people on this app who are only looking for a hookup. Instead, you’ll see detailed profiles displaying each person’s interests and relationship preferences.

Pros

  • The OG dating site
  • Price means everyone is serious
  • Can effectively filter out qualities you're not interested in
  • One-on-ones with dating experts
  • User friendly interface

Cons

  • Have to pay to get anything out of it

My personal experience

Upon creating a profile on Match.com, it was clear the site was geared toward serious relationships. While this is aligned with what I’m looking for, the app does not have features to filter for my specific relationship needs. 

For example, when asked your relationship status, the options are “definitely single,” “divorced,” or “widowed.” In fact, the app specifically states “no ‘it's complicated’ allowed.” While I understand the intention is trying to weed out people who might be in the middle of a divorce or break-up, I wish there was an option for non-monogamous daters. I’m looking for what I’d call a serious relationship: Marriage and someone to start a family with, but I’m still interested in an open relationship—and Match.com is not geared toward this. 

There were a few unique features I did thoroughly enjoy about Match.com. You can filter users by distance from a specific chosen location, as opposed to your current location. At the time I made my account, I was visiting family outside of my home city. I want to date someone locally, so it was nice that I could still chat and look at profiles of people near my home, even though I didn’t happen to be there at that moment. Since I visit my family regularly, this quickly becomes a convenient feature, however, I probably will delete Match.com because it doesn’t have options for non monogamy. 

Cost

Standard Membership

  • One month: $44.99
  • 6 months: $118.99 ($19.84/month)

Premium Membership

  • 3 months: $116.99 ($39/month)
  • 6 months: $129.99 ($21.67/month)
Best for daters over 50

OurTime

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About
Website & app known for finding love, not just hookups
Availability
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+

“Catering to singles over 50, OurTime offers a platform for mature individuals seeking serious relationships with people in a similar life stage,” explains Lilithfoxx. For many, sharing something in common, like being in the same stage of life, is one of the most important elements for building a long-term relationship. On dating apps geared toward all ages, it can be frustrating to see predominantly younger users who don’t share your interests or values, making it difficult to connect on a deeper level and be compatible in the long term. “The primary focus of this service is user-friendliness, and it is possible to have a free account with success in finding matches. Though, the paid accounts are reasonable in cost,” says Lilithfoxx. 

Pros

  • Designed for people over 50
  • Reputation for finding love, not just hookups
  • More affordable than other paid dating sites
  • Hosts community events
  • Desktop version is easy to use
  • Several gender identity options

Cons

  • Dated interface
  • If you’re nonbinary, your profile can only be shown to members seeking men or members seeking women

My personal experience

Since I’m not 50 or over, I spoke with a friend who tried OurTime, and she said her favorite part of OurTime is that most of the users she saw had written a bio— there weren’t many blank profiles. Not just that, but people also described themselves in their own voice, which she said helped her connect with them.

My friend also commented on how much she likes the prompts users respond to on their profile, such as “I once got in trouble for” and “a secret only my pets know about me” or “if loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” She was, however, disappointed that even though her preferences were set to “interested in everyone,” she was shown almost all men, and very few women. Additionally, one of the first questions the app asks when creating your profile is your height and body type, which she says made her comfortable. 

Cost

Subscription starts at $20 per month and increases depending on the payment plan.

Best free dating app

OkCupid

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About
Swipe, backtrack, and sort potential matches with a free app
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
30 to 49 years old

If having shared values with your long-term partner is a top priority for you, OkCupid is the app to be on. Their tagline “match on what matters” pretty much says it all. This app asks you detailed questions about your interests, relationship preferences, as well as things like your political views and world outlook, and connects you with like minded users. The app even asks questions like “could you date someone who doesn’t vote?” and then allows you to rate the importance of this question from “a little” to “very.”

On other apps, it can take several dates to even scratch the surface of your values and political views. OkCupid, on the other hand, puts these questions front and center so you can get your deal breakers out of the way, before you even spend time or money going on a date. 

Pros

  • Free version works great
  • 20+ sexual orientations and 12+ gender identity options
  • Option for monogamy or non monogamy
  • Can be used on a mobile device or computer

Cons

  • Need to answer a lot of questions to get the most out of it
  • Mobile app makes it challenging to see user’s entire profile

Personal experience

Out of all the apps I tried, OkCupid is hands down my favorite dating app for serious relationships. Since creating a profile, it’s the app I check the most and had the most successful dates with. During the sign-up process, OkCupid asks so many detailed questions, making it much easier to find someone who I’m actually compatible with while I’m still on the app, as opposed to learning basic information on a date. 

While other dating apps like Match.com and eharmony do ask you to answer a long, detailed list of questions, OkCupid’s questions are far more relatable for me. Not just that, but on OkCupid, you have several opportunities to actually write-in your answers to questions, as opposed to choosing from a set list of hobbies or prompts. I found myself much more likely to go on dates with people from OkCupid because I can actually get to know people through their profiles.

I also love that there are so many options for you to describe your gender, sexuality, or other parts of your identities that a lot of other dating apps lack. One of the features I liked the most was the options for non monogamy. If you’re non monogamous, you can actually choose if you’re looking for someone who is single, partnered, or married. I really liked this because while I’m non monogamous, I am not looking for someone who is not partnered or married right now. I want to find a primary partner to build a family with, who is also interested in having an open relationship now or in the future. 

The only thing that I don’t like about OkCupid is that you have to click through several steps to get to someone’s entire profile.

Price

OkCupid has tiered pricing.

  • Tier 1: Free
  • Basic: from $45/month
  • Premium: from $55/month
Best for men seeking women

Bumble

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About
A swipe-based app where women always start that chat
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old

If you’re heard of dating apps, you’ve likely heard of Bumble. Unlike other dating apps, Bumble requires women to initiate the conversation first. “[This] fosters a more respectful and intentional communication environment, which can be conducive to forming serious relationships,” says Lilithfoxx. 

Clinical psychologist, Harpreet Kaur Chattha, explains that “Since people are communicating online, they may take more liberties or cross limits more quickly than they do in person, making it feel uncomfortable or threatening for users, especially women.” Apps like Bumble that give women control of the initial reaction can create a safer, more conducive space to building the kind of connection necessary for a serious relationship.

Pros

  • Relatively detailed profiles
  • Attractive interface
  • Free version works great
  • Women send first message when dating men

Cons

  • Not everyone likes the "women message first" system
  • You only have 24 hours to message a match

Personal experience

I’ve been on Bumble for years and my favorite thing about this app is that women send the first message when you’re dating men. This has both made me feel much safer and limited invasive and rude comments, but it’s also reduced dating app fatigue. It’s far less exhausting because I’m not sifting through messages from random people I’m not interested in. I’m only having conversations with people that I actually want to talk to. 

I also love that Bumble has unique prompts, like “I’ll get along with you if…” or “I’m still not over…”. Thinking of opening messages can be exhausting, and when people have fun, quirky facts about themselves, I’m much more likely to build a connection with them and potentially go on a date. 

With that being said, I also see a lot of men on Bumble putting the bare minimum into their profiles. I was surprised by how many profiles I saw that barely had a bio or didn’t answer any prompts.

Price

The free version of Bumble does the trick, but you can pay to unlock more features if you wish.

Best for women seeking men

Hinge

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About
An app designed for relationships with limited likes (but has evolved for hookups)
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old

Hinge was created for people who are tired of swiping left or right on profiles based solely on a few photos. This dating app includes several prompts, some of which are quirky, some of which are more serious, that appear on your profile. Other users can then “like” or respond to a specific photo or prompt. 

While finding a serious relationship on dating apps can take time, many people quickly burn out from the tedious process of thinking of creative intro-lines and greetings. Hinge can cut down decision-fatigue by giving you creative prompts to respond to and more opportunities to share your personality with daters.

Pros

  • Attractive interface
  • Several free features
  • Profiles are designed to build connections over shared interests, not just appearance
  • Queer friendly

Cons

  • Expensive premium version
  • Limited number of daily swipes on free version

My personal experience

Similar to Bumble and OkCupid, I’ve found Hinge to be one of the best apps for getting to know people’s personalities and starting conversations with daters. I love that users can like one of my photos or comments and also tell me why they liked it. It’s far more engaging.

The app itself is simple and easy to use, and while Hinge might not be as well known as apps like eharmony or Match.com for serious relationships, I found it easy to filter for compatibility by simply swiping left on anyone who didn’t specify that they’re looking for a serious relationship.

Cost

Hinge has tiered subscriptions

  • Basic: Free
  • Hinge+: $30/month
  • HingeX: $50/month or $600/year
Best for queer women

Her

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About
A community-based app for LGBTQ+ folks seeking connections
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old

If you’re queer, trans, or nonbinary, you’re likely well aware of how hard it can be to find dating platforms and spaces that are designed specifically for you, instead of as an afterthought. Even though most dating apps say they’re for “everyone”, the structure and features often are centered around straight relationships. “Designed for LGBTQ+ women, HER provides a safe and inclusive space for those seeking serious relationships with like-minded individuals,” says Lilithfoxx. 

Pros

  • Designed specifically for queer people
  • Hosts community events
  • Interest-based searching
  • Large user base

Cons

  • Have to pay to unlock unlimited swipes
  • Not for queer cis men

My personal experience

While I didn’t try HER myself, I spoke to a few friends who did— we’ll call them Amara and Emma to keep their anonymity. Amara and Emma agreed on their favorite features of the app, but had mixed reviews otherwise. They love that with the free HER subscription, you can actually view everyone who likes you. “It makes the process speedier if you don't feel like swiping through people” says Emma. And Amara agreed, “I haven’t seen this feature for free on another app. It’s nice.” 

Amara added that she had a small dating pool in her area, which may be a result of living in a small rural town. While Emma didn’t have an issue with the number of people, she did get an overwhelming number of unnecessary notifications and there are several features she can’t access without a subscription. “I can’t set ANY preferences without premium so it’s a lot of labor in comparison to other apps.” Even though this app is designed specifically for queer people, Emma says “I see all of the same people oh HER as I do other apps so it doesn’t have much use to be honest.”

Cost

HER is free, and offers a Premium membership for $15 per month.

Best for Jewish daters

Jdate

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About
App specifically designed for Jewish singles with a proven success with marriage
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18+

“As a niche dating app for Jewish singles, JDate helps users connect with potential partners who share their cultural background and values, which can be important for long-term compatibility,” Lilithfoxx explains. In terms of the platform itself, Jdate allows you to filter daters by keyword searches, new matches, if users are currently online, and how far users are from you. 

Whether Judaism is a significant part of your everyday life or not, this app can help you connect with people who have shared values and perspectives. “In my experience, both professionally and personally, more niche dating services such as JDate…tend to yield more successful results for users. Users know that they share at least one value with all of the other users on the platform, thus saving some emotional labor having to search for someone in a larger and more broad dating pool” Lilithfoxx says. 

Pros

  • Proven success with marriage
  • Specifically designed for Jewish singles
  • Several free features

Cons

  • Extremely basic interface
  • Only options for gender identity are man and woman
  • Only options for who you’re seeking is either men or women

My personal experience

After creating a profile on JDate, I was surprised by how few people were in my area— there were typically only four to ten people online at the same time as me. I did, however, really like that you can define your Judaism. I chose “culturally Jewish” to describe myself and listed the same for who I’m looking for. This is big for me because the way someone practices Judaism can vary so much from person to person and also impacts who you’re compatible with.

I was disappointed that it didn’t look like people put much effort into their profiles. Most of the profiles I saw were blank or daters had barely written anything. The app sort of felt like a desert. This could, however, be a result of few culturally Jewish people in my area, and my radius was only set to 10 miles. I think the results might be different for someone with different dating preferences.

Cost

Subscription starts at $30 per month and increases based on the number of months you subscribe for.

Comparing the best dating apps for serious relationships

ProductPriceCompatibilityFree optionUse on
eharmonyFrom $66/monthIOS; AndroidNoMobile App; Desktop Site
Match.comFrom $22/monthIOS; AndroidNoMobile App; Desktop Site
OurTimeFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App; Desktop Site
OkCupidFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App
BumbleFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App
HingeFrom $0/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App
HERFrom $30/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App; Desktop Site
JdateFrom $30/monthIOS; AndroidYesMobile App; Desktop Site

What I (the tester) am looking for in a serious relationship

I’ve personally found I have the most success when I’m honest and open about what I’m looking for. I got clear on my dating goals: I’m looking for a marriage and someone to start a family with.

Beyond that, through years of dating, I’ve learned more about what I want a relationship to look like and what I need from a partner. I have very strong values and I need to know we’re on the same page with our core beliefs. 

While I’m serious about marriage and kids, I also want a partner who is okay with having an open relationship, whether that be now or down the road.

Finding a good match requires me to be upfront and vulnerable, which can be tiring at times. 

How I tested the best dating apps for serious relationships

Especially dating as a busy professional with limited time, deciphering which apps are the best for serious relationships can be a huge undertaking in itself. We did the heavy lifting for you, so you can focus on creating your best dating app profile and building connections with potential partners.

When testing the top dating apps, I prioritized the below factors.

Known for serious relationships

All these dating sites have reputations for fostering long-term love, not just easy hookups. You're less likely to run into folks just looking for something casual, or you can easily filter those people out.

Recommended by relationship experts

We asked couples' therapists and relationship experts to share which dating apps they love and recommend to their clients looking for something serious.

Active user base

There's nothing worse than being met with a "no more users in your area" message, so all of these recommendations are well-populated apps with plenty of active members.

Variety

Not everyone is looking for the same kind of partner, even if you’re looking for a serious relationship. Everyone has different interests, values, and preferences so we chose a variety of apps to fit your unique needs. 

What makes a dating site better for serious relationships than others? 

Dating sites that require a fee, like eharmony or Match.com, can be more conducive to serious relationships than free ones, according to couples and sex therapist Kyle Zrenchik.

After all, people can find hookups easily for free, so being willing to pay indicates a dedication to something more.

Dating apps like OkCupid, which have a big focus on mapping out their users' likes and personalities, are also better suited to finding a relationship than dating apps like Tinder, which mainly focus on people's appearances, notes Zrenchik.

For those of us who have been using them for years, dating apps can feel like a slew of surface-level connections.

Finding a serious relationship online requires a lot of vulnerability, energy, and intention. “Ultimately, the effectiveness of any dating app for finding a serious relationship depends on the users' intentions, communication, and willingness to invest time in the process,” says sexologist, LIlithfoxx

Ultimately, what makes the most difference as to whether an app or site is good for a serious relationship is what you yourself are willing to put into the experience.

If you project clearly what you're looking for, you'll be less likely to be met with people who want something different.

How dating apps can help you find a serious relationship

That’s where dating apps come in. Per Lilithfoxx, certain apps can help you find a serious relationship by providing “access to a larger pool of potential partners than one might encounter in everyday life.

“[These apps] allow users to filter their preferences and engage in conversations with individuals who share similar interests and goals.

You no longer have to go through the whole song and dance of meeting a person, approaching them, starting a conversation, and getting to the point where you are able to discuss values and assess compatibility,” she explains. 

Online dating is so much easier for me when I utilize the right apps and features and put a bit more time into creating my profile and vetting potential matches.

With all the challenges that can come with dating, apps can make it much easier to meet new people and quickly understand whether or not you’re compatible with them.

How to successfully navigate dating apps when you’re looking for a serious relationship

Be descriptive in your profile

When you write your bio, don’t keep to a word limit. The more you share about yourself, the easier it is to build connections. It’s challenging for a user to start a conversation or find something in common with you if there’s barely anything in their profile.

Being descriptive of yourself and showing your personality on your profile gives other users more opportunity to send you interesting messages and create a connection. 

Get clear about what you’re looking for

While you may already know you’re looking for a serious relationship, get clear on what qualities you’re looking for in a partner and what you want your relationship to look like. This will save you time while filtering through potential matches and allows you to be clear about your expectations upfront.

While for some people setting hard boundaries about what you do and don’t want can feel as though it limits the dating pool, in the long-run, this will help you find someone you’re actually compatible with. 

Invest in the most meaningful conversations

I have limited time and boring conversations starting with “hi” or a “like” on my photo I’ve honestly found to be a waste of time. I now only invest in conversations with people who actually make an effort to send me a thoughtful message, or at the bare minimum say something like “how are you?”

There are so many people who send me a message that clearly indicate they haven’t read my profile and what I’m looking for. We only have so much energy, don’t spend it on people who haven’t even read your bio.  

Choose the apps you feel the best on

I actually enjoyed creating my profile, answering questions, and swiping through users on some apps. On other apps, however, I felt frustrated or struggled to relate to other users. And guess what? I went on the most dates from apps that I actually liked using.

Dating itself can be challenging, add using an app you don’t, and it’s going to be far worse. Use the dating apps that you enjoy the most.

How your dating life impacts your longevity

While dating may not be top of mind when you consider factors that impact your well-being, social connection plays a larger role in longevity than you might think. Studies have shown social isolation increases all-cause mortality by about 33%1, and loneliness is linked to lower health literacy and other health concerns2

In fact, one recent study from 2023 indicated a direct correlation between loneliness and cognitive decline3. When used with intention, dating apps can be a great way to bring connection into your life, thereby enhancing your well-being and improving your longevity.

How to choose the right dating app for you

The dating market has really exploded exponentially over the last few years, and therefore you have a lot of options to choose from—which can feel a bit overwhelming. Zrenchik recommends Googling to see which dating sites and apps are most popular in the region where you live and also to even try Googling an important aspect of your identity or a favorite interest plus "dating app" to see if there are any apps that cater specifically to people like you.

You can also use the following questions to help you figure out which app might be best for you:

  • What am I looking for, and which dating app best reflects this? 
  • What does my budget for dating look like right now? 
  • Am I willing to pay for a site beyond a trial period, and how much am I willing to pay?
  • Am I good at answering questions about myself? 
  • Am I good at showcasing my personality mainly through words or through pictures?
  • Do I only want to date someone who shares my religion? 
  • Do I want to know a lot about someone before I meet up with them, or do I prefer more of a mystery? 
  • Do I have the time to answer an in-depth questionnaire about myself?
  • Do I want to use an app that's geared specifically toward LGBTQ people?

Frequently asked questions

What dating app has the most successful relationships?

Eharmony is known for over two million people that have connected and fallen in love on their site. However, eharmony is specifically for men or women looking for a monogamous relationship, and typically caters toward more traditional relationships.

The most successful dating sites for all kinds of relationships are OkCupid and Match. 

Which free dating site is best for serious relationships?

OkCupid, Hinge, or Bumble are all good choices for free dating apps where you're likely to find people looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right rather than Mr. or Mrs. Just-for-tonight. 

What is the most successful dating site for men?

Bumble is a place where men can really thrive, as the "woman has to message first" feature evens the playing field and encourages a rethink of traditional gender roles—something that many women really appreciate.

Do paid dating sites work better?

Sometimes people need to put their money where their mouth is, as Hartman notes, and it's certainly the case that it can be worth paying for those who want something more substantial than a one-night stand.

However, it just takes meeting that one special someone, and that can absolutely happen on one of the free dating apps. 

What is the best free app for marriage?

The best free app for marriage depends on what you’re looking for in a partner, however there are a few apps that offer the most features for free.

OkCupid has robust settings on their free subscription, and apps like Bumble and Hinge do too.

Which dating site is best for serious relationships?

The best dating site for serious relationships depends on what you’re looking for in a partner and how you build connections with people.

If you have more traditional relationship values, dating sites such eharmony and Match.com might be best for you. If having shared values with your partner and getting to know their personality is your priority, OkCupid, Bumble, or Hinge might be a better fit. 

The takeaway

While looking for a serious relationship can be challenging, dating apps, when used correctly, can make finding a long-term relationship easier. To be successful on dating apps, be sure you know what you’re looking for and spend time on the apps you enjoy using the most.

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