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I Tested The 8 Best Dating Sites & Apps For Serious Relationships

Kesiena Boom, M.S.
Author:
January 16, 2024
Kesiena Boom, M.S.
By Kesiena Boom, M.S.
mbg Contributor
Kesiena Boom, M.S., is a sociologist and writer. She has a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from the University of Manchester and a master’s degree in Gender Studies from Lund University.
January 16, 2024
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As someone on the hunt for a serious relationship, I'm a huge fan of dating apps. They're not only the most common way for people to meet in the U.S., but at least one in ten people in committed serious relationships meeting their current partner through dating sites or apps.

But as much as I love the apps, I also know they can be a one-way ticket to another situationship when used incorrectly. Eager to cut through the chaos of online dating, I went straight to dating experts for their recommendations of the best dating apps for serious relationships—and then I downloaded each and every one for firsthand testing.

My goal was to swipe on every suggested app and go on at least one date (though that final step proved harder for some apps). From there, I curated my final list of the very best dating apps for those seeking long-term commitment like myself. Below find my final picks, plus my first-hand experience with each app.

The best dating sites and apps for serious relationships:
  • Best for marriage seekers: eharmony
  • Best paid dating site: Match.com
  • Best for daters over 50: OurTime
  • Best free dating app: OkCupid
  • Best for men seeking women: Bumble
  • Best for women seeking men: Hinge
  • Best for queer women: HER
  • Best for Jewish daters: Jdate

My testing process started with speaking to couples' therapists and dating experts for recommendations. I asked them to share which dating apps their clients found the most success on for something serious.

Ideally, these dating apps all had an active user base, reputation for fostering long-term love, and a wide variety of interests to suit different people's preferences and unique needs.

Once I curated a list of apps to test, I downloaded each one and swiped with potential partners (always aiming to go on at least one date). Full transparency: I already had quite a few of these apps downloaded, including a few that I've been using for years.

When apps were catered to different demographics—like the LGBTQ+ community or specific religions—I connected with other testers to get their feedback on the apps. This ensured I got feedback from the people who actually use the app rather than inferring my own opinions. Here's what I discovered.

Best for marriage seekers

eHarmony

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Known for
Serious relationships
Main age demographic
30+
Available on
IOS, Android

Why we picked eHarmony

You won't be surprised to find eHarmony earning a top spot in many of our roundups, and rightfully so. The esteemed dating app features a lengthy (but thorough!) questionnaire that sets it apart from its competitors. While some users find the questionnaire too long, the app was purposefully made this way to eliminate potential members who weren't serious about finding a true partner.

Furthermore, the app's sophisticated matching algorithm ensures that users are matched based on deep-rooted compatibility factors such as your degree of closeness in a relationship or how you see the world, and encourages folks to invest time in thorough profiles and in-depth personality assessments.

The company also claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the U.S., according to couples' therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS. We attribute this to the comprehensive sign-up process, which is bound to weed out people who are not looking for something serious.

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Extremely thorough matching process
  • Compatibility scores for every potential match
  • Lower risk of time wasters
  • Large active user base
  • Detailed profiles

Cons

  • Almost no capability with free membership
  • Many people still don't have detailed profiles
  • Takes a long time to set up

My personal experience

As someone who has been looking for a serious relationship for several years, it was exciting to see a dating app with so much success matching singles. When I signed up for the app, however, I struggled with the quiz. I couldn’t relate to the majority of questions they asked.

For example, one of the quiz questions is “What makes you most interested in someone?” The multiple choice answers were their career, financial security, health and fitness, warm-heartedness, or appearance, and I was required to pick two. While I can see how these are important elements for finding a long term partner for some people, they aren’t for me. Warm-heartedness was my first choice, but I couldn’t choose another as they all focus on external factors instead of getting to know someone on the inside, which is what’s important for me. 

Additionally, the activities they list, such as sailing, equestrian, shooting, and cricket, among others, also are not relatable for me. I don’t do any of these activities, and the things I do really enjoy, like slacklining, for example, are not listed (and there isn’t an option to write them in). Lastly, you have to report your income in the quiz, which doesn’t sit right for me as an element they use to determine who I’m compatible with.

Overall, the app feels geared toward traditional relationships and values. If these interests, values, and questions are important relationship criteria for you, however, this app could be a great fit. 

In our full eHarmony review, our testers felt it was a solid pick for those who were ready to "financially invest in finding a serious relationship," especially if other options simply aren't working for you.

Cost

  • 6 months: $359 ($59.84 per month)
  • One year: $388 ($32.25 per month)
  • 2 years: $699 ($29.13 per month)
Best paid dating site

Match

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About
Website & app with detailed profiles and fastest-growing user base for seniors
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+

Why we picked Match

As one of the oldest dating sites to grace the web, Match has accumulated a user base of over 30 million people, and we're not surprised. The dating app has facilitated over 517,000 relationships, culminating in 92,000 marriages.

The company's mission is simple: To help singles find the kind of relationship they're looking for, as the website states. When registering, users must fill out a detailed questionnaire that includes basic questions like who you're seeking (men or women), what your average match looks like, and your favorite hobbies. The more the better in this case, as the more detailed you are when setting up your profile, the better your matches will be.

Its interface is fairly simple to use and you can see all your matches and chat conversations on both the app and website.

Pros & cons

Pros

  • The OG dating site
  • Price means everyone is serious
  • Can effectively filter out qualities you're not interested in
  • One-on-ones with dating experts
  • User friendly interface

Cons

  • Have to pay to get anything out of it

My personal experience

Upon creating a profile on Match, it was clear the site was geared toward serious relationships. While this is aligned with what I’m looking for, the app does not have features to filter for my specific relationship needs. 

For example, when asked your relationship status, the options are “definitely single,” “divorced,” or “widowed.” In fact, the app specifically states “no ‘it's complicated’ allowed.” While I understand the intention is trying to weed out people who might be in the middle of a divorce or break-up, I wish there was an option for non-monogamous daters. I’m looking for what I’d call a serious relationship: Marriage and someone to start a family with, but I’m still interested in an open relationship—and Match is not geared toward this. 

There were a few unique features I did thoroughly enjoy about Match. You can filter users by distance from a specific chosen location, as opposed to your current location. At the time I made my account, I was visiting family outside of my home city. I want to date someone locally, so it was nice that I could still chat and look at profiles of people near my home, even though I didn’t happen to be there at that moment. Since I visit my family regularly, this quickly becomes a convenient feature, however, I probably will delete Match because it doesn’t have options for non monogamy. 

Cost

Standard Membership

  • One month: $44.99
  • 6 months: $118.99 ($19.84/month)

Premium Membership

  • 3 months: $116.99 ($39/month)
  • 6 months: $129.99 ($21.67/month)
Best for daters over 50

OurTime

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About
Website & app known for finding love, not just hookups
Availability
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+

Why we picked OurTime

In our quest for a platform catering specifically to folks 50 and up who are seeking genuine connections, we selected OurTime as one of the best dating apps for serious relationships. It features a user-friendly interface to make it easy for older individuals to navigate and features notable features, like in-depth profiles and personalized match connections.

Unlike other dating apps, users aren't required to fill out a comprehensive questionnaire. OurTime has taken a more casual approach and only requires users to fill out a simple "About me" section for their profile. The app will then make suggestions based on the user's profile.

“Catering to singles over 50, OurTime offers a platform for mature individuals seeking serious relationships with people in a similar life stage,” explains Lilithfoxx. For many, sharing something in common, like being in the same stage of life, is one of the most important elements for building a long-term relationship.

On dating apps geared toward all ages, it can be frustrating to see predominantly younger users who don’t share your interests or values, making it difficult to connect on a deeper level and be compatible in the long term. “The primary focus of this service is user-friendliness, and it is possible to have a free account with success in finding matches. Though, the paid accounts are reasonable in cost,” says Lilithfoxx. 

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Designed for people over 50
  • Reputation for finding love, not just hookups
  • More affordable than other paid dating sites
  • Hosts community events
  • Desktop version is easy to use
  • Several gender identity options

Cons

  • Dated interface
  • If you’re nonbinary, your profile can only be shown to members seeking men or members seeking women

My personal experience

Since I’m not 50 or over, I spoke with a friend who tried OurTime, and she said her favorite part of OurTime is that most of the users she saw had written a bio— there weren’t many blank profiles. Not just that, but people also described themselves in their own voice, which she said helped her connect with them.

My friend also commented on how much she likes the prompts users respond to on their profile, such as “I once got in trouble for” and “a secret only my pets know about me” or “if loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” She was, however, disappointed that even though her preferences were set to “interested in everyone,” she was shown almost all men, and very few women. Additionally, one of the first questions the app asks when creating your profile is your height and body type, which she says made her comfortable. 

Cost

Subscription starts at $20 per month and increases depending on the payment plan.

Best free dating app

OkCupid

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About
Swipe, backtrack, and sort potential matches with a free app
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
30 to 49 years old

Why we picked OkCupid

Because it's free. But seriously, OkCupid is one of the best dating apps for serious relationships due to its unique algorithm. It was created by Harvard graduates as the first free online dating website. Now, OkCupid is the sixth most downloaded dating app in the world, with 70 million user as of 2023. And the best part, as aforementioned? It's free. 

Even further, over the years, OkCupid has created an inclusive experience for app users, providing more options than most dating apps for gender, sexuality, and more for users to share their authentic self.

If having shared values with your long-term partner is a top priority for you, OkCupid is the app to be on. Their tagline “match on what matters” pretty much says it all. This app asks you detailed questions about your interests, relationship preferences, as well as things like your political views and world outlook, and connects you with like minded users. The app even asks questions like “could you date someone who doesn’t vote?” and then allows you to rate the importance of this question from “a little” to “very.”

On other apps, it can take several dates to even scratch the surface of your values and political views. OkCupid, on the other hand, puts these questions front and center so you can get your deal breakers out of the way, before you even spend time or money going on a date. 

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Free version works great
  • 20+ sexual orientations and 12+ gender identity options
  • Option for monogamy or non monogamy
  • Can be used on a mobile device or computer

Cons

  • Need to answer a lot of questions to get the most out of it
  • Mobile app makes it challenging to see user’s entire profile

Personal experience

Out of all the apps I tried, OkCupid is hands down my favorite dating app for serious relationships. Since creating a profile, it’s the app I check the most and had the most successful dates with. During the sign-up process, OkCupid asks so many detailed questions, making it much easier to find someone who I’m actually compatible with while I’m still on the app, as opposed to learning basic information on a date. 

While other dating apps like Match.com and eharmony do ask you to answer a long, detailed list of questions, OkCupid’s questions are far more relatable for me. Not just that, but on OkCupid, you have several opportunities to actually write-in your answers to questions, as opposed to choosing from a set list of hobbies or prompts. I found myself much more likely to go on dates with people from OkCupid because I can actually get to know people through their profiles.

I also love that there are so many options for you to describe your gender, sexuality, or other parts of your identities that a lot of other dating apps lack. One of the features I liked the most was the options for non monogamy. If you’re non monogamous, you can actually choose if you’re looking for someone who is single, partnered, or married. I really liked this because while I’m non monogamous, I am not looking for someone who is not partnered or married right now. I want to find a primary partner to build a family with, who is also interested in having an open relationship now or in the future. 

The only thing that I don’t like about OkCupid is that you have to click through several steps to get to someone’s entire profile.

Price

OkCupid has tiered pricing.

  • Tier 1: Free
  • Basic: from $45/month
  • Premium: from $55/month
Best for men seeking women

Bumble

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About
A swipe-based app where women always start that chat
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old

Why we picked Bumble

One of our favorite things about Bumble is its unique approach to fostering serious relationships—women make the first move. Per Lilithfoxx, this process "fosters a more respectful and intentional communication environment, which can be conducive to forming serious relationships."

Another unique feature of Bumble is the timing aspect. Your connection has 24 hours to respond to the opening message before the match expires. This establishes a sense of urgency to engage in conversation rather than waiting for weeks or even months.

Overall, we picked Bumble as one of the best dating apps for serious relationships because the app's comprehensive structure grants its women users a lot of control over how online dating interactions will go.

Clinical psychologist, Harpreet Kaur Chattha, explains that “Since people are communicating online, they may take more liberties or cross limits more quickly than they do in person, making it feel uncomfortable or threatening for users, especially women.”

Apps like Bumble that give women control of the initial reaction can create a safer, more conducive space to building the kind of connection necessary for a serious relationship.

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Relatively detailed profiles
  • Attractive interface
  • Free version works great
  • Women send first message when dating men

Cons

  • Not everyone likes the "women message first" system
  • You only have 24 hours to message a match

Personal experience

I’ve been on Bumble for years and my favorite thing about this app is that women send the first message when you’re dating men. This has both made me feel much safer and limited invasive and rude comments, but it’s also reduced dating app fatigue. It’s far less exhausting because I’m not sifting through messages from random people I’m not interested in. I’m only having conversations with people that I actually want to talk to. 

I also love that Bumble has unique prompts, like “I’ll get along with you if…” or “I’m still not over…”. Thinking of opening messages can be exhausting, and when people have fun, quirky facts about themselves, I’m much more likely to build a connection with them and potentially go on a date. 

With that being said, I also see a lot of men on Bumble putting the bare minimum into their profiles. I was surprised by how many profiles I saw that barely had a bio or didn’t answer any prompts.

Price

The free version of Bumble does the trick, but you can pay to unlock more features if you wish.

Best for women seeking men

Hinge

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About
An app designed for relationships with limited likes (but has evolved for hookups)
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old

Why we picked Hinge

At least five members of our editorial team have found their long-term partner on Hinge—and it's an attests to the apps's research-backed matchmaking. The Hinge Labs team bridges relationship, emotion, and behavioral science with user experience research, business intelligence analytics, and data science to unlock insights about love and dating, the website states.

We also picked Hinge because the app does a great job of offering prompts to spark unique conversation, and it brings profiles to life a bit more than those that are solely photo-based. If you're tired of swiping left and right, these profiles give you more substance.

Plus, finding a serious relationship on dating apps can take time; many people quickly burn out from the tedious process of thinking of creative intro-lines and greetings. Hinge cuts down decision-fatigue by giving you creative prompts to respond to and more opportunities to share your personality with daters.

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Attractive interface
  • Several free features
  • Profiles are designed to build connections over shared interests, not just appearance
  • Queer friendly

Cons

  • Expensive premium version
  • Limited number of daily swipes on free version

My personal experience

Similar to Bumble and OkCupid, I’ve found Hinge to be one of the best apps for getting to know people’s personalities and starting conversations with daters. I love that users can like one of my photos or comments and also tell me why they liked it. It’s far more engaging.

The app itself is simple and easy to use, and while Hinge might not be as well known as apps like eharmony or Match for serious relationships, I found it easy to filter for compatibility by simply swiping left on anyone who didn’t specify that they’re looking for a serious relationship.

Cost

Hinge has tiered subscriptions

  • Basic: Free
  • Hinge+: $30/month
  • HingeX: $50/month or $600/year
Best for queer women

Her

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About
A community-based app for LGBTQ+ folks seeking connections
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old

Why we picked Her

If you’re queer, trans, or nonbinary, you’re likely well aware of how hard it can be to find dating platforms and spaces that are designed specifically for you, instead of as an afterthought. Even though most dating apps say they’re for “everyone”, the structure and features often are centered around straight relationships. “Designed for LGBTQ+ women, HER provides a safe and inclusive space for those seeking serious relationships with like-minded individuals,” says Lilithfoxx. 

We chose HER because the app creates a welcoming space for the LGBTQIA community. Research shows that individuals who identify as gay, bisexual, queer, same-gender-loving, or another non-heterosexual identity have experienced discrimination1 on dating apps. So having a secure haven like HER becomes crucial, offering a refuge from potential prejudice and fostering a sense of belonging. And that's just one of many reasons why we included the dating app on our list.

We also picked HER because the app features an 'Add Friend' option for individuals newly navigating their identity, providing a space to build connections before diving into the dating pool.

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Designed specifically for queer people
  • Hosts community events
  • Interest-based searching
  • Large user base

Cons

  • Have to pay to unlock unlimited swipes
  • Not for queer cis men

My personal experience

While I didn’t try HER myself, I spoke to a few friends who did— we’ll call them Amara and Emma to keep their anonymity. Amara and Emma agreed on their favorite features of the app, but had mixed reviews otherwise. They love that with the free HER subscription, you can actually view everyone who likes you. “It makes the process speedier if you don't feel like swiping through people” says Emma. And Amara agreed, “I haven’t seen this feature for free on another app. It’s nice.” 

Amara added that she had a small dating pool in her area, which may be a result of living in a small rural town. While Emma didn’t have an issue with the number of people, she did get an overwhelming number of unnecessary notifications and there are several features she can’t access without a subscription. “I can’t set ANY preferences without premium so it’s a lot of labor in comparison to other apps.”

Even though this app is designed specifically for queer people, Emma says “I see all of the same people oh HER as I do other apps, so it doesn’t have much use to be honest.”

Cost

HER is free, and offers a Premium membership for $15 per month.

Best for Jewish daters

Jdate

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About
App specifically designed for Jewish singles with a proven success with marriage
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18+

Why we picked Jdate

“As a niche dating app for Jewish singles, JDate helps users connect with potential partners who share their cultural background and values, which can be important for long-term compatibility,” Lilithfoxx explains. In terms of the platform itself, Jdate allows you to filter daters by keyword searches, new matches, if users are currently online, and how far users are from you. 

Although it's a niche dating site, we included JDate on our list simply because it's the number one online dating platform catering to the specific needs of the Jewish community. The app has facilitated thousands of romantic relationships, friendships, and marriages since its inception in 1997. According to the company website, JDate is "responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined." And we're not surprised. The app puts an emphasis on shared values and cultural background, encouraging users to be associated with the Jewish faith.

Whether Judaism is a significant part of your everyday life or not, this app can help you connect with people who have shared values and perspectives. “In my experience, both professionally and personally, more niche dating services such as JDate…tend to yield more successful results for users. Users know that they share at least one value with all of the other users on the platform, thus saving some emotional labor having to search for someone in a larger and more broad dating pool” Lilithfoxx says. 

Pros & cons

Pros

  • Proven success with marriage
  • Specifically designed for Jewish singles
  • Several free features

Cons

  • Extremely basic interface
  • Only options for gender identity are man and woman
  • Only options for who you’re seeking is either men or women

My personal experience

After creating a profile on JDate, I was surprised by how few people were in my area— there were typically only four to ten people online at the same time as me. I did, however, really like that you can define your Judaism. I chose “culturally Jewish” to describe myself and listed the same for who I’m looking for. This is big for me because the way someone practices Judaism can vary so much from person to person and also impacts who you’re compatible with.

I was disappointed that it didn’t look like people put much effort into their profiles. Most of the profiles I saw were blank or daters had barely written anything. The app sort of felt like a desert. This could, however, be a result of few culturally Jewish people in my area, and my radius was only set to 10 miles. I think the results might be different for someone with different dating preferences.

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