15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Here is a list of 15 things that, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering — and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy — we cling to them.
Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right.
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong — wanting to always be right — even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the "urgent" need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control.
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you — situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street, just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and see how much better you feel.
3. Give up on blame.
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted, and repetitive self-defeating mindsets? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you — especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. As author Eckhart Tolle says, “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”
5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do and about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
6. Give up complaining.
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things that make you unhappy. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
Give up your need to criticize people who are different from you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others.
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard — the moment you take off all your masks and accept and embrace the real you — is the moment people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
Minds only work when open.
9. Give up your resistance to change.
Change is good. Change will help you make improvements in your life and the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss and embrace change — don’t resist it.
10. Give up labels.
Stop labeling those things, people, or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.
11. Give up on your fears.
Fear is just an illusion; It doesn’t exist — you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. Franklin D. Roosevelt was right when he said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
12. Give up your excuses.
A lot of times we limit ourselves with the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves with all kind of excuses — excuses that 99.9 percent of the time are not even real. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them.
13. Give up the past.
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future and prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
The present moment is all you have and all you will ever have.
14. Give up attachment.
This is a concept that is hard for most of us to grasp (and I have to tell you that it still is for me, too), but it’s not impossible. It will become easier and easier with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all possessions, you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.
That's not to say you must give up your love for everything, because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love … well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless. Where there is love there can’t be fear, so attachment and love cannot coexist.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies, their teachers, their government, and their media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voices. They are so busy pleasing everybody that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need … and eventually they forget about themselves.
You have one life — this one right now — you must live it, own it. Don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
For more tips on how to uncover happiness, check out my new book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide To Discovering Effortless Joy.