Then, a few weeks ago, after going 10 years without a single date, I was sitting in a beautiful mansion after having just put on one of the most amazing retreats of my life. I was completely blown away by the dreams that were coming true in my life. I was traveling to beautiful parts of the world, leading retreats for amazing, passionate clients. But in that moment, all I wanted was someone to share these experiences with.
My heart began to feel gratitude for all of the time I had spent dedicating my life to my dreams, but I knew that it was absolutely time for me to let the wall come down. And with this new-found resolution, I felt my wall disappear on its own. I knew that the person I was meant to find would show up in my life in the most unexpected way and I would be able to fully accept them.
I'm going to accept whatever the universe has planned for me and let go of my fear of relationships. After these years on my own, I now know that fear’s only purpose is to keep us from pain, but there is no greater pain than fear itself.
I'm going to open myself up to love in all of its capacities, but I'm holding on to these 10 lessons I learned in my decade off dating:
1. Nothing in the world will ever make you feel validated until you validate yourself.
2. Learning to fully rely on yourself and love yourself unconditionally is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your future partner.
3. Putting yourself first is the least selfish thing you will ever do. The world needs you at your most authentic, and that takes a tremendous amount of self-care.
4. Building a wall around yourself to keep the pain out only keeps the pain contained inside of your own heart. Stay open.
5. Forgiveness is never about the other person. When we hold on to anger for another person, we only hurt ourselves.