Having great sex is the rule for me, not an exception. So, recently, when I had the most unbelievable sex of my life, my breath was taken away for more than one reason. I mulled over the obvious: Why was that sex so amazing? the next morning with my cup of tea.
Certainly, I had a great connection with the guy I was seeing, but the only other thing that had changed in my life from previous sexual relationships was my liaison with meditation.
Meditation is one of those things you hear about wise or successful people doing, but you aren’t sure of the cause-effect relationship between those things, or if it's really for you. At least, that’s how I felt about it.
But a few months earlier, I had been inspired to seek out new ways to commit to my own well-being. As part of my new self-care ritual, I started meditating for 20 minutes every morning and 20 minutes every afternoon. I loved it. Meditation was my time to step into a calm, solitary space that filled me with serenity and joy.
At first 40 minutes a day seemed like an absurd amount of time to sit still: If you'd asked my mantra before I started meditating, I'd probably have said, "Go, go g—" and then disappeared. But I quickly found that carving out those 40 minutes yielded a sense of more time, less of a need to rush in my daily life.
That morning, musing on the previous evening's mind-blowing sex, I realized I was enjoying another unexpected, delightful side effect of meditation. Yep. It catapulted my sexual enjoyment to a whole new level.
Here are the four specific ways that my daily meditation practice improved my sex life:
1. I finally understand what it means to have an out-of-body experience.
Meditation helped me tame the constant chatter in my head. Rather than my inner monologue providing a running commentary on what was going on between the sheets, I was present. I experienced everything from start to dazzling finish, without being my own audience.
2. I have so much more love and gratitude for my body.
By learning to notice myself and appreciate all that I am, I stopped judging my body. I didn’t beat myself up for not being model thin, or worry I wasn’t enough. I felt complete just as I was. I know it sounds cheesy, but I started to appreciate little things about myself, like my skin. And I was amazed (still am) by the incredible things my body is capable of.
3. I felt EVERYTHING.
Holy. Shiitake. With my mind silent and my judgment level at zero, it was amazing how much more intensely I experienced sensations: The way his tongue felt running along my skin, the way he smelled — every sensory input lit my brain up like a supernova. Plus, parts of my own body were more sensitive — like my breasts — which contributed to my overall increased state of arousal, and made the slightest touch its own surrealistically pleasurable experience.
4. The joy lingered.
Typically after sex, I’d feel blissed out for a few minutes and then start overanalyzing, stirring up my own anxieties. Meditation changed that, too. I was still basking in the afterglow hours after sex, enjoying the way my skin tingled, and memories of the evening. Mmmmmm.
It's important to note that this didn't actually happen overnight. The effects were gradual. I didn’t just meditate once and then have the best sex ever. The daily practice of meditation over the course of many weeks was essential to the tangible changes I experienced. But stick with the practice. This is just a tiny glimpse of a few of the reasons it's worth it. Why not experience it for yourself?