For decades, I avoided mirrors, deflected compliments, deleted tagged photos of myself, all because of shame and insecurities. I was at war with myself. The enemy, my body.
When things weren’t going well in my life, my body was to blame. I thought, “If only I were thinner, I’d be more successful, more popular, and I'd finally meet my soul mate.” It never ended. No matter what size my body, whether I was 40 pounds underweight or 60 pounds over, I always felt unworthy.
The problem was never my body or the actual weight; it was my beliefs about it. The way I looked mattered most, and that pain stayed with me for years.
But all that changed when I made falling in love with myself, regardless of my physical size, my full-time mission. Today I accept and love myself. I no longer negotiate with my insecurities.
Through my healing journey to finding authentic self-love, I realized everything I wanted in life was on the other side of my shame.
I was using my own physical discomfort as a crutch to keep me from living my life fully.
It was easier to blame my body for things not going well than to take full accountability.
Acceptance and accountability have become my new go-to behaviors, replacing several unhealthy ones. My body, just like my life, is a work in progress. Here are the things I stopped doing to find self-acceptance and real love.
1. I stopped comparing myself to everyone else.
2. I stopped speaking down to myself.
3. I stopped listening to what others said about me and instead listened to my own inner voice.
4. I stopped worrying about the outcome; instead I accepted the moment as it was.
5. I stopped ignoring my body’s needs.
7. I stopped trusting others’ opinions about my own needs and life.
8. I stopped trusting others’ advice and instead learned to trust myself.
9. I stopped thinking there was destination that would make me happy; I learned to appreciate the journey.
10. I stopped taking my habits and myself so seriously.