It's easy to look at successful people and think life comes easily to them. They seem to be blessed with a life of ease.
In my life, things never seemed to come easily. I’ve had to repeat the same mistakes, failing again and again, until I learned my lessons. I began to stay defeated in my comfort zone with a giant fear of failure, which manifested in self-doubt, complacency, and apathy.
In the past few years, I’ve studied A-plus life students (celebrities, CEOs, and star athletes) and to figure out how they avoid failure. And what I've realized is: they don’t. They just treat failure differently.
When I employed different approaches to failure, everything changed: my business grew, my confidence and power grew, and I felt free.
These techniques of successful people have become my must-dos for failure:
1. They don't blame anyone; instead they get curious about the facts.
By taking responsibility for all setbacks, you become curious about what worked and what did not. Not sure how to take responsibility? Start with the facts. The fact is that there was a failure: you didn’t get the job, you didn’t make the sale, the relationship didn’t work out, and so on. Those are facts. Anything beyond that is an interpretation, a meaning you’re giving to the situation.
Successful people drop the interpretation, all blame (outward and inward), and instead reflect on what’s true and what’s up for interpretation. This gives you the power to recreate the interpretation.
I’m not saying that the failure IS your fault and you need to shame yourself. I’m saying that when you investigate your actions and reactions, you take back your power and then you can you learn and grow.
Some questions to ask yourself:
- What did I miss?
- How could I have done better?
- Who has had successful results in this realm and can see my blind spots?
2. They don't get stuck in the past or the future; they act now.
I invite you to consider how much time you spend thinking about the future versus the past.
- Do you have buyers’ remorse?
- Do you wallow in regret?
- Do you get indecisive and change your mind often?
Successful people take action fast. They move quickly and decisively, learning from mistakes, while moving forward. Instead of waiting until they’re ready or lamenting not getting enough training, successful people just keep growing. They take classes, read books, ask questions.
Release thoughts of the past being different. It’s over. You can’t change it. Remind yourself: That was just another experience that can contribute to reaching my goals right now.
3. They use failure as a call to action.
Why can’t we be kind to ourselves and create a life that’s radically successful? Why is it that you can feel a tremendous amount of frustration with fear, but still not take different actions? Likely, you haven’t experienced enough pain.
We’ve all been in those jobs, at those weight levels, or in those relationships, where we say, "Enough is enough. Something must change." This is when failure becomes your ally. You have a catalyst for trying a completely different strategy.
When you’ve hit an edge, pain becomes a call to action. Like the butterfly breaking out of its chrysalis: you have the opportunity to break through your limiting beliefs and experience a new way of being.
4. They define success on their own terms.
Define what success means to you. What does it look, feel, smell, and taste like? Get clear on the details and believe living them is possible. Value your desires enough to commit to cultivating the path to get there.
Success, the accomplishment of a purpose, is not a thing — it’s an experience. The accomplishment of purpose initiates a fantastic, high vibrational experience (think "happy (!)").
In order to get what you want, including success, love, or a killer bod, you must create the experience before you get the thing you want. In other words, because everything you want has a vibration, you must be the vibrational match of what you seek.
Many people approach manifestation from a place of "How can I get something to feel successful?" Instead, ask, "How can I feel successful and therefore be an energetic match for actual success?"
5. They’re grateful for the experience.
Often times we get so busy chasing after the things we want, that we forget to enjoy the present moment, we forget to be happy.
We always say: I'll be happy when I will get this, when I will do that … and when those things do happen, we go on to planning the next thing and the next thing and forget to enjoy the success we have.
Realize that now, in this moment, you have more than enough. It’s great to have dreams, it’s great to aspire to grow, learn, evolve and achieve big things. It’s also crucial to celebrate yourself, to celebrate your accomplishments, to celebrate the present moment and to celebrate your life.
With gratitude comes success and with success comes more gratitude.
Photo Credit: Scott Shigley