The Secret To Avoiding Burnout? Try A Little Mindful Indulgence

In 2019, burnout was officially recognized by the World Health Organization. My colleagues and I thought, "It's about time!" But it was an important step in affirming that you're neither weak nor alone if you've burnt out or are teetering on the brink.

But one lingering fallacy that still remains: Most of us believe burning out is acceptable and expect to experience it repeatedly. In short, there's no other way out.

What if I—a psychologist for Type-A perfectionists—told you there's another way out? 

Understandably, that statement might be befuddling, going against everything you've learned. I remember a young client saying that he wouldn't reward himself until he achieved his five-year plan—and he really did the hard slog. He was merely the adolescent version of many of my older clients, and luckily for him, he hadn't burnt out yet.

You see, many people believe we do not deserve rewards until we reach our version of the Holy Grail. But the truth is, rewarding ourselves can actually inspire us to work harder and smarter. Rewards aren't necessarily that Prada handbag or a slice of chocolate cake every day. It's simply some form of being good to yourself that will flood your brain with dopamine, firing off the reward neurocircuitry. That feel-good factor means you're even more recharged when you return to your work, and you're training your brain to want to repeat the good habits that led to this reward.

Another protest Peter and I encounter is from those who believe they'll get soft and lazy. He recounts how he believed that "hard is good; more is better" until he realized he wasn't making much progress or enjoying his sport anymore. And once he'd gotten over his fears that resting meant he was lazy, he realized that by listening to his body, resting energized his Olympic goals. That was his road-to-Damascus epiphany moment.

We can all be a little too narrow-minded in terms of our idea of discipline. Indulging a little isn't going to suddenly make you lazy or unproductive—you took time to build up your discipline and work ethic. It will not disappear overnight. Instead, you need to reward it rather than to fuel an apocalyptic mindset.

The truth is, if you do not know how to recharge your batteries regularly, then you run on empty. Most of us are aghast when we wake up and realize that our phones did not charge overnight and are now operating on "low battery mode." Why don't we apply that respect to recharging ourselves? 

When anxious, many of us hold our breath or breathe the wrong way. We suck in our bellies when we inhale, causing our chests to constrict—and then we hyperventilate. This is why some of my clients tell me that meditation makes them feel worse; imagine subjecting your body to that through an hourlong meditation.

When she finally gave herself permission to run, my client realized the world wasn't going to end. Instead, her businesses benefited from that timeout. It's really about spending a little time to buy back more time and sanity. As Peter reflects, we measure how well our self-care is working by the results—are we more in control of our heads and our lives, and are we sleeping better and feeling more rejuvenated? 

I used to feel guilty about the number of naps I take and how much free time I have to pursue my interests. It defied how I was brought up, even though I enjoy my life. Today, I know that these are the fruits of my labor, from the foundations I've built and because I've made self-care into a discipline.