5 Questions To Ask When Something Just Doesn't Feel Right

Two of the most memorable times I felt unsure about my path in life were when I was working in an unfulfilling job as an attorney and during a relationship that was wrong for me. Although the job and relationship differed greatly, the pattern of discomfort was the same.

Everything was perfect on paper, making it easy to convince myself and others that everything was fine. Tough, but fine. But there was always a little voice that chided, “Keep looking.”

Something just felt—off.

In both situations, I lived out the confusion, clumsily and painfully, until it became clear that something must be done.

For me, in both cases, that meant leaving. But before I came to that conclusion, I was hung up on what to do about that "off" feeling.

In this expression “Something feels off,” we tend to focus on the "something," i.e. how can that person, place, or thing act differently? But this is about how you feel. Things will always occur externally, but ultimately understanding your feelings leads to the greatest insight.

Complaining about how difficult things are only perpetuates the feeling of "offness". Reminding yourself of your agency and choices can put the power back into your hands and help you be more objective.

In the midst of confusion over leaving my job, I asked a friend when she knew it was time to quit her position. Her response: “When my alarm went off one morning and the first thing I did was cry.”