10 Reasons You Haven't Found Self-Acceptance
For decades, I avoided mirrors, deflected compliments, deleted tagged photos of myself, all because of shame and insecurities. I was at war with myself. The enemy, my body.
When things weren’t going well in my life, my body was to blame. I thought, “If only I were thinner, I’d be more successful, more popular, and I'd finally meet my soul mate.” It never ended. No matter what size my body, whether I was 40 pounds underweight or 60 pounds over, I always felt unworthy.
The problem was never my body or the actual weight; it was my beliefs about it. The way I looked mattered most, and that pain stayed with me for years.
But all that changed when I made falling in love with myself, regardless of my physical size, my full-time mission. Today I accept and love myself. I no longer negotiate with my insecurities.
Through my healing journey to finding authentic self-love, I realized everything I wanted in life was on the other side of my shame.
I was using my own physical discomfort as a crutch to keep me from living my life fully.
It was easier to blame my body for things not going well than to take full accountability.
Acceptance and accountability have become my new go-to behaviors, replacing several unhealthy ones. My body, just like my life, is a work in progress. Here are the things I stopped doing to find self-acceptance and real love.
1. I stopped comparing myself to everyone else.
2. I stopped speaking down to myself.
3. I stopped listening to what others said about me and instead listened to my own inner voice.
4. I stopped worrying about the outcome; instead I accepted the moment as it was.
5. I stopped ignoring my body’s needs.
6. I stopped thinking I was wounded, broken, or needed to be fixed.
7. I stopped trusting others’ opinions about my own needs and life.
8. I stopped trusting others’ advice and instead learned to trust myself.
9. I stopped thinking there was destination that would make me happy; I learned to appreciate the journey.
10. I stopped taking my habits and myself so seriously.
Shannon Kaiser is the best-selling author of 5 books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment including The Self-Love Experiment and Adventures for Your Soul, Joy Seeker, and Unshakable Inner Peace Oracle card deck, and the forthcoming book Return to You. She has a B.A. in journalism and communications from the University of Oregon. As an international life coach, speaker, and retreat leader, she helps people awaken and align with their true selves so they can live their highest potential.
She's been named top 100 Women to Watch in wellness by mindbodygreen, alongside Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kris Carr and Gabriel Bernstein, and was listed as of the freshest voices in mental health and wellness by Chicken Soup for The Women's Soul. She's been named one of Entrepreneurs Must-Follow Instagram Accounts for Inspiration and Top Facebook Accounts for Daily Motivation by Mind Body Green.
Her website Playwiththeworld.com has been names top 75 Personal development websites and top 100 self-help websites by the institute for the Psychology of Eating. She's an international life coach and author mentor, and a full time world traveler with a home base in Portland, Oregon with her best friend, her Golden Retriever Chance, who she flew to China to Rescue.