While working with people who are ready for their dream partnership, I’ve noticed that many of them powerfully manifest wonderful careers and great health but feel stuck when trying to attract a strong, smart, sensitive partner.
I’ve observed that people who still haven’t created the relationship of their dreams generally are making one or more of these five simple mistakes.
1. They're unclear about what they want.
Journaling and creating a vision board can be helpful, but be sure to focus on elements other than appearance. What kind of career do they have? What do they get excited about? How do they act as a romantic and sexual partner? What values and dreams do you share?
Unfortunately, many people reflect on past relationships and then say “I just don’t want that.” They make the mistake of focusing on what they don’t want.
What you focus on is what grows. Focus on what you want.
2. They're not receptive.
The universe is infinitely abundant, and so much of what you desire is hiding in plain sight. You just have to open your eyes to it.
Maybe you’re already in a relationship with a partner who is capable of exceeding your dreams (and wants to), but you’re blocking them with fear, or beliefs that you don’t deserve your dream partner. Or maybe a potential romantic partner has been pursuing you, but you’re guarded toward them.
Without an awareness of what you want and the belief that it is possible, you'll walk around with your eyes down, focused on the narrative of scarcity you've created in your mind.
3. They haven't embraced the feminine side of their energy.
Each of us exhibits both masculine and feminine qualities. The tricky part is that the modern world pushes most of us to be in our masculine, “rush-and-go-get-it” energy the majority of the time.
More feminine types are usually not taught to value intuition and our ability to attract things into being. Many of us exhaust ourselves by pushing too hard on our masculine energy and end up unbalanced.
Start to define your own unique expression of your femininity by experimenting with your intuition, creativity, and sense of beauty. Connect with your sensuality and your body through dance or yoga.
As you embrace both your energies, partners will be drawn to your balanced nature. Notice these changes and allow them to occur in a way that feels comfortable and enjoyable to you.
4. They don't see the current version of themselves when they envision their dream relationship.
Maybe when I'm 15 pounds lighter, have a brand-new wardrobe, and am meditating daily … these are some of the ways we communicate, “I’m not ready for them,” to the universe.
First, in your visualizations, believe that your ideal partner will love you just for you. They won't care about your little cosmetic "flaws." He respects your emotions, your friendships, and your family.
Second, start acting today like the person you truly want to be. What would you be doing once you had that dream relationship? Would you travel more? Treat yourself to massages? Take an art class? Start enjoying those things now. The closer you move to being that vibrant version of yourself, the more naturally your dream partner will be attracted to you.
And the best part is that unlike many people in the dating “game," you won’t feel like you have to be some fictional, perfect version of yourself in order to attract someone. You’ll have been behaving as the “new you” that you want to continue being!
5. They don't give new partners a chance.
One of my clients recently explained to me that she hadn’t been asked out on dates in years. I asked her more and learned that she didn’t go out much. If she went on a hike, she’d usually go with lots of friends or wear headphones and avoid eye contact. She had tried online dating but gave it up after a few dates.
Living like this makes it impossible for anyone to approach you. Live more openly. Take a hike or sit at a coffee shop without headphones in. Make eye contact. Smile. Say “hi” at the grocery store.
Practicing these small pleasantries will open the door to your dream partner so they're able to walk right in and sweep you off your feet.
If you can avoid these five blunders, the partner of your dreams will soon breeze into your life, and they'll be so obviously compatible with you that a relationship will seem inevitable.
And even better? You’ll create a life you love in the process.