You feel secure and happy in your relationship—for a while. And then, you notice that gnawing feeling in your stomach that comes from beginning to suspect that your partner is cheating. There are subtle signs, but you let them ride, not wanting to believe that anything is going on. Your sex life turns into a slow drip, your partner seems very private about their cell phone use, their work “obligations” increase and you can feel the distance between the two of you growing. You chalk it up to a rough patch.
Soon, you find the evidence. Maybe you're looking for it, maybe you stumble upon it. Either way it confirms that something is going on—with someone else. You confront your partner and find out the details. Then you face the inevitable, impossible question: Do I stay or do I go? You always imagined you would leave if someone cheated, but you find that your love for your partner draws you back. So, you decide to stay. And as you both try to heal your relationship, you begin to recognize the challenges of surmounting infidelity that you didn't anticipate. In the aftermath of betrayal, here are five common reasons people find themselves unable to recover.