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What Women Really Want From A Man

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March 27, 2014

Guys, I know women confuse the s**t out of you. I'll be the first to admit it: we can be totally and utterly confusing.

But trust me when I say that there's a method to our madness; there are very specific things that women want from a man. And I'm going to tell you what they are.

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The truth is, guys (and girls!), I want you to do well with women. Because when you do well with women, women are happy! And when women are happy, we do well by our men (or women!). This is the relationship cycle that we all want to be a part of.

With that in mind, here are four straightforward things that a woman really wants from a partner. Integrate these into your life, and you'll inspire an incredible woman to glow by your side.

Please be aware that while this is phrased in in terms of what women want from men, I know there's a wide range of relationships, desires and needs, so the overarching rule is always: find a relationship that makes you genuinely happy!

1. She wants a man to take the initiative.

To most women, the ideal date goes like this: A man figures out all the details and he makes it happen.

Seriously. Just get it done.

You may think that a woman always wants to be in control of what to do and where to go, but believe it or not, most women love it when her man decides.

The reason for this is we already have our plates full. Figuring out the details of a date is just another thing to add to our to-do lists. And we hate our to-do lists!

One of the most enjoyable things about a date is that a woman gets to feel taken care of by you. That's the best part. Your initiative is a serious turn-on (I can't emphasize this enough). Take care of all the details, and your woman will feel so taken care of by you.

2. She wants a man to be present with her.

Men, your presence goes a long way with a woman. What I mean by presence is your awareness, your connection to right now, and your uncompromised attention on her.

Now, I'm not saying that you need to pay attention to your woman all the time. That's not possible, nor is it enjoyable for anyone involved.

What I am saying, however, is that a woman desires a certain amount of quality time with you on a regular basis. This is nonnegotiable if you want to keep your relationship fresh, alive, and free.

Women start pulling for more attention when they feel deprived of it. And, of course, this clingy behavior makes you back away. I get it — it doesn't feel good. The antidote for this is spending quality time with a woman when you can.

We spend a lot of time with our partners, but much of it isn't quality time. Sitting on the couch watching TV is not quality time. Turning off your phone, looking her in the eyes, asking her questions and genuinely listening to her answers is.

Make an effort to be present with your woman when you are able to do so. I promise you, her connection to you will flourish as a result.

3. She wants a man to praise her beauty.

Yes, women like to be told that they are beautiful. What's wrong with that?!

Many of us can be judgmental about this fact, but the reason for this is deeper than one might expect. We aren't talking about simple vanity here; praising a woman's beauty is important because she wants to know that a man sees her.

He sees her light. He sees her radiance. He sees her uniqueness. He sees her heart.

Again, I want to be really clear: it is not your job to convince a woman that she's beautiful. In fact, you can't. A woman must have enough self-esteem to accept your compliments. If she doesn't think she's pretty, there's no way she'll believe that you do, either.

However, many women will be able to take in a man's praise, and if she can, she'll want to hear it often.

This is just part of being a woman — we should accept it as normal and encourage the beauty in us all! By doing so, the women of the world will brighten (literally, right before your eyes), and this means much more light for the world.

4. She wants a man to act like The Man.

When I say act like The Man, I'm not talking about an inflated ego, arrogance, or a machismo attitude. These qualities do not inspire anything except distance from a woman.

What I am talking about is this: Act with integrity in all that you do.

Integrity is defined as the state of being whole and solid, as well as the quality of being honest and moral. So what it means to act with integrity is pretty simple: Be a good man.

Know your impact on others and take that seriously! Be a man who cares about using his clarity and strength to make this world a better place.

Without integrity, it is nearly impossible for a woman to trust a man. And without her trust, your relationship is going to feel like hell. You know what I'm talking about; it is not fun to be on the other end of a distrustful woman. The way to avoid this is simple … be trustworthy.

Men, keep in mind that you have a lot to offer women and the world. So much good will come from you being the best man that you can be; women will benefit, and everyone else you come in contact with will, too.

Ladies, please leave a comment below praising the great qualities of great men you know! I look forward to hearing from you.

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Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT

Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves, and she's also the instructor of the popular mindbodygreen courses How To Become The Most Attractive Version Of Yourself and How To Attract A Partner.

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