4 Questions To Ask If Your Partner Hasn't Proposed & You Want To Be Engaged

Perhaps you thought for sure that last year was the year your partner would propose. And what better time than the holidays, right? Alas, New Year's Eve came and went, and the moment right after midnight left you ringing in another New Year without an actual ring on your finger. After another year waiting for a proposal that never came, you may now be wondering why it's not happening—and if it's time to move on. Here are a few important questions to ask yourself as you sort through your feelings about not being engaged:

Some people are hesitant to express their desires directly, fearing that "the marriage talk" will make them appear desperate or turn their partner off. That's usually a strong sign that your relationship isn't ready for engagement yet, which is OK. While there's no concrete rule about how long you should be dating before communicating your desire to get married, if you believe you've established enough trust with your partner, then it should be safe to broach the subject with care. Even if you're not sure where your partner stands on marrying you, you can still bring up the topic to see how they feel about marriage in general and ensure that your intentions are aligned before making a deeper investment.

It's also a good time to evaluate any internal pressure you may be feeling. Assess whether or not your expectation to be engaged is more about where you believe you "should" be at your current stage of life versus the level of satisfaction you are currently experiencing with your partner. If you believe your partner is truly the one, then adjusting your timeline may be required to reach your goal.

If you've been waiting on a proposal for some time, it's time to check on the status of your relationship. Perhaps all your needs are being met in order to feel comfortable going to the next level, but what about your partner's? Oftentimes there are unknown financial, spiritual, sexual, or emotional barriers keeping couples from committing on a deeper level. Ask yourself, "How would I know if my partner was truly ready to get engaged?" You may discover that further exploration is needed to ensure that you understand where your partner stands on the relationship as well as the pace they are comfortable moving forward at.

If you believe your partner is truly the one, then allowing your relationship to move forward organically might be worth the extra wait. Focus on other shared and individual goals, and remember that there are other ways to measure progress in your relationship. Are you continuing to grow in your relationship? Are you getting closer and closer and taking on new challenges as a couple? Remain emotionally present and engaged in the relationship.

A proposal should come from a genuine place. Knowing you had a hand in getting your partner to commit might weaken your confidence over time in their decision to marry you. Also, some partners are inclined to back out of a relationship completely when they feel forced to take actions they aren't prepared for. If an engagement is about committing to a lifelong partnership, then honoring your partner's part of the process is an essential step in the process.

It can be difficult to reset your expectations for a proposal when they haven't been met. However, added time provides the benefit of making sure you are choosing the right person and committing for the right reasons.