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3 Ways To Cope When You Really Miss Someone

Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, CST
Expert review by
Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, CST
Clinical Sexologist & Psychotherapist
Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, CST, is a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist with 12 years of clinical experience. She is a licensed counselor in California, Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana. She is also a certified sex therapist, certified addiction professional, and president of the Therapy Department, a private practice in Orange County that provides counseling services throughout the United States.
Last updated on April 29, 2020

Missing someone can be an intense, uncomfortable feeling. Beyond just feeling sad, you can sometimes feel completely out of control because there isn’t a whole lot that you can do about it. But it's okay to miss people sometimes. Whether it be an ex, a loved one who has passed on, or a friend moving away, the deep longing you are feeling is not to be pushed away or judged. It is to be felt and embraced. Here are a few things to do when you miss someone a lot.

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1. Listen to music that showcases how you are feeling.

For many people, music is an easy, accessible way to feel connected to your spirit, heart, and soul. When you feel yourself in the thick of missing someone, pick out a playlist or album that really captures what you're feeling. Sad songs, nostalgic songs, or just moody songs. Go and take a walk listening to the whole thing through.

If you’re really deep in your sadness, you might want to actually create a playlist of songs that remind you of that other person. Doing this will allow you to really feel your feelings. It’s okay to bare your soul, break down, or cry. Because through that breakdown comes your breakthrough, and you will experience more peace, calm, and joy afterwards.

2. Create an email account for your deepest inner thoughts.

Have you ever drafted an entire email to someone and then never hit that send button? Usually we do it when we're angry, frustrated, or feeling a ton of negative feelings. But it can also be helpful to do it when you're experiencing the ambient sad emotions involved in missing someone.

Create an email account for the sole purpose of writing your deepest inner thoughts. You can also do this in your journal if you prefer, but sometimes there's something that feels more natural about typing these thoughts into an email. You're also probably at your computer pretty often throughout the day. Whenever you feel those thoughts of missing that person, stop what you're doing and pivot over to the email account. Write an email about what you're thinking about or missing about that person in this specific moment, and just hit send. This practice can allow for your blocks and emotions to naturally be released and move through you.

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3. Write them a thank you letter.

People play important roles in our lives, as we are all connected. People come, go, and stay a while throughout our life time, each bringing a special gift. Sit with your emotions you have for them and then mentally place a light around them. What have they taught you? What joy did they bring to you? What did you learn from them?

Kindly, gently, and with much love, write them a thank you letter expressing your gratitude for what they’ve shown or given you. If you are releasing a past love, then maybe you want to thank them for all the good times or the spark of light that they showed you. If it's a friendship, simply thank them for being who they are and showing up for you when you needed it the most. There is always something you can thank someone for. Dig deep, allow something beautiful to come through.

You don't have to send the letter—but there's something particularly cathartic about doing so.

The bottom line.

When you miss someone, the most important thing to do is to allow your feelings to come up and be with you. Trying to stuff them down or ignore them won't help. After some time, they will ease.

Think of this as a development in your relationship. In order for your friendships and relationships to grow, they must rise to a new level. If you are missing someone today, close your eyes, think of that person, and send them a huge ball of love and light. Wherever they are, they will feel it.

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Nitika Chopra
Nitika Chopra

Nitika Chopra is the host of the talk show Naturally Beautiful on Z-Living, a certified life coach, and founder of Chronicon, a conference for people living with chronic illness created in partnership with Healthline. She's also a popular wellness blogger and the on-air expert for Fresh on QVC.

As host of a talk show that focuses on a holistic approach to beauty from the inside out, Chopra has always empowered women to use beauty as a tangible access point to self-love. Known for her straight-forwarded tone and intense vulnerability, Chopra recently took everything she had learned from suffering with psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis for the past 27 years and created a conversation about self-love in the chronic illness community. With her experience in public speaking, her highly engaged social media following, and her raw and honest writing that she shares weekly on her blog, Chopra is determined to get honest with her audience so that they can get honest with themselves in a way that truly transforms lives. You can also find her doing weekly content in her free Facebook group the Chronic (illness) Crew and daily on her Instagram @NitikaChopra.