The Psychology Of "Turbo Relationships" & Will They Last After COVID?

In the wake of COVID-19 stay-at-home orders at the start of the year, many new couples found themselves in a strange predicament: either enter into a long-distance relationship, or shack up with someone you just started dating. Many chose the latter. The result? A lot of relationships that got really serious really quickly.

A recent report from eHarmony and U.K. charity Relate checked in on 365 U.K. adults that had been living with a partner for less than a year as of June. They found 36% of participants who just moved in with a partner felt like the past two months were equivalent to two years of commitment.

Nearly 60% of new partners reported feeling more committed than ever to their S.O., and 36% say they've reached relationship milestones like moving in together quicker than they might have otherwise.

As a species, people tend to seek out connection in times of stress1—and in a time when our social interactions are limited and stress levels are high, it only makes sense for members of couples to hold each other a little tighter.

"Facing a crisis together can be a deeply bonding experience," notes spiritual and relationship coach Cassady Cayne. "It can be a positive push, that we're approaching relationships on a more emotional, less surface level as the deeper facets of our psyche crave connection in a troubled time. As humans, we all crave connection and emotional bonding; it's in us as mammals since birth."

That said, while humans may seek connection in the face of hardship, it's hard to say whether that means they'll stay together long term2. There are mixed reviews on how disasters and stress affect couples, with some studies suggesting relationships get stronger from coping through these types of hardships together while others suggest marital quality goes down (and divorce rates up).

"As time goes on, people may encounter some unexpected differences," clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., ABPP, tells mbg. "If someone who previously really enjoyed night life has partnered with someone who's more of a homebody, that can certainly raise a challenge going forward. We know that healthy relationships flourish when both parties have both joint and separate in3terests, and in many cases, the pandemic has curtailed other relationships."

"We know that difficult circumstances can really bring people together and create strong bonds," Hallett says. "The caveat in these circumstances is that we have been living with a brand-new set of expectations, lifestyle, and experiences."

As we all navigate these uncharted waters, what comes next is a question on everyone's mind, particularly if you've found yourself in a turbo relationship. What will your relationship look like when you start spending less time together? Will it be better, worse? After all, many of these turbo relationships have become rapidly intimate at a rate many have never experienced before.