Dial-Toning, White Clawing & More: 8 New Dating Problems You Probably Deal With
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
Every year, the dating app Plenty of Fish comes up with a list of dating trends they expect to see in the coming year. They're usually based on a survey of their current users' experiences, though, so in many ways these projections really constitute the latest common dating problems people have already been dealing with.
This year, the app polled over 1,000 of its users to put together its list. So with that, here are eight newfangled dating terms that you might see cropping up next year based on their survey. Any of them ring a bell for you?
- Cause-playing: When your relationship with someone fizzles out, but then they reach back out asking for a favor—like donating to their second cousin's fundraiser or liking their startup's new Facebook page.
- Dial-toning: When someone gives you their phone number but then completely ignore your texts. Like, why?
- Eclipsing: When you just automatically take on the hobbies, interests, and passions of the person you're dating. (PoF found 45% of singles admitted to having done this, and another recent survey found 27% have even hidden one of their own interests from potential partners because they worried it'd make them seem unattractive for some reason. But the truth is, everyone needs alone time and their own separate lives, even in the most committed relationships.)
- Glamboozled: When you get all dressed up and ready for a date, but then they cancel at the very last minute. Argh!
- Kanye'd: When you go on a date and they spend literally the entire evening talking about themselves.
- Type-casting: When someone chooses people to date exclusively based on their Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) compatibility or their love language compatibility. You can probably throw in astrology, Enneagram types, or any other buzzy personality system.
- White Clawing: When you keep dating someone you find "basic and boring" (PoF's words, not ours…) just because they're attractive.
- Yellow-carding: When you call out the person you're dating for their bad dating etiquette. Think when you need to tell your Bumble match to stop messaging you 43 times a day and asking you why you're not responding.
Look, all of us are probably guilty of at least one of these relationship faux-pas. But self-awareness is the first step toward change, OK? OK.
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