My partner and I went to a wedding recently in LA. I don’t know what was in the punch, but I started to feel full of love and sexual abundance. My hair seemed fuller, my lips felt juicier, and I swear I was turning some heads. I had my partner at my side and my friends all around me. We danced and laughed and made a general ruckus.
That fleeting feeling of vibrancy, freedom, and freshness was magical. I didn't know that version of myself existed, but I felt like I could tap into it again if I only got the ingredients right. So, the day after that wedding I told my partner how my sexual energy had seemed to blossom—how I wanted to try to access it again.
His reaction was perfect—he laughed, clapped his hands, and said, "Wow! At the age of 29, Summer has discovered her sexual power." It was funny. But he didn't trivialize it either. He knew I'd had a breakthrough, and he was happy for me—and totally secure in our relationship. I believe his security is a crucial factor in the freedom I feel to explore my sexuality.
See, I've spent most of my life subduing my sexuality because I was afraid to be noticed that way. I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t
want to be looked at. And if someone had asked me to be seductive, I would've turned beet red.
I grew up with a single dad, who gave me affirmation and positive feedback for excelling in sports, for my strong work ethic, and for my academics. But he wanted me to share things with him that didn't come naturally to me—working on cars, mowing the lawn, moving furniture.
This unique childhood has made me who I am but it has taken some intentional work on my part to cultivate feminine awareness
and sexual vitality. Now, I'm not saying I have it all figured out. But I have accepted this part of myself and begun to find ways to cultivate it. You could say I have learned to mother my own femininity. And this process has radically changed my life.
It's never too late to embrace your sexual energy. Here are the steps that helped me get there—I hope they help you, too.