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11 Steps To Prepare You For The Greatest Love Of Your Life

Naomi Pabst, PhD
July 20, 2014
Naomi Pabst, PhD
By Naomi Pabst, PhD
mbg Contributor
Naomi Pabst, PhD, is an Ivy League professor turned transformational teacher and wisdom warrior. She is a professional intuitive, with a thriving Manhattan-based practice, serving clients throughout the globe.
July 20, 2014

The moment my husband first flashed his delightful grin at me, I recognized him as the man I would someday marry. I was, at the time, awakening into my intuitive abilities and they did not steer me wrong. However, life let me know that I had some preparation to attend to before this relationship would take flight.

Over a period of years, before the timing was right for us to couple up, my inner guidance led me through a process I’ve broken down into the following 11 steps. I’m not saying I mastered each step, but I made a gallant attempt and was rewarded with the love of my life. Love has been my greatest teacher. I hope what I learned will catapult you on your path to your own amazing love story.

1. Be your best self.

No more skating around the fringes of who you wish to be. “Shape-shift” into your truth and your greatness, your magnetism and your self-mastery. If you’re authentic and in your highest, you cannot not draw love to you.

2. Create a life you adore.

Spend your time on the things that matter most to you. Step into a life that fulfills you, where the only thing missing is partnership. Don’t wait for true love to cause your life to blossom. To attract an amazing partner, you must be an amazing partner. If your life compellingly expresses who you are, you will draw in the perfect person to share it with.

3. Get your affairs in order.

Spring clean, attend to your finances, purge toxic friendships, and sort out any unseemly dynamics you have with people in your life. Assess whether there's anything within your power that you would like to change in your life that would serve you and make you more alluring to that special someone.

4. Enthusiastically invite in love and partnership!

Honor your desire for sustained companionship, connection, nurturing, and soul feeding by another. Identify the subconscious ways you might be resisting a relationship even as you're asking for one. Open up to vulnerability, being seen, and losing the full autonomy of being single.

5. Open to the mystery of life.

Embrace the grand adventure your next relationship will be. Plan to let love have its way with you. Just as every person has a unique personality and soul’s essence, so does every relationship. Forget fantasies and fairy tales — welcome in the unexpected magic of real love.

6. Remember the purpose of a relationship is to love and be loved.

Love expands, heals, transforms, and catalyzes us. Your partner is not coming along to conform to your idea of whom she should be. He is not coming to financially support you. She is not coming to offer what your parents failed to. He is not coming to fulfill your hidden agendas. Partnership is but an immersion in love’s classroom.

7. Take care of yourself.

Self-care = well-being. Well-being = magnetism. Magnetism = good fortune. The elbowroom created through your self-care practice will funnel directly into your care for your beloved when he or she arrives, and into being able to gracefully receive that person’s care of you. Caring for yourselves and each other will become a powerful foundation for your successful relationship.

8. Put your past in the past!

Heal previous heartbreaks, release core wounds, and purge that reservoir of a lifetime’s worth of pain that resides within each of us. Forgive yourself and others for anything and everything. Change victim stories you tell about yourself into inspiring tales of overcoming. In doing so, you set yourself free. And in being free you're extra alluring to others.

9. If you’re a woman, cultivate your feminine qualities.

In our society, which prizes achievement, we women often exude masculine energy. By this I mean we live in a mode of “producing an outcome” rather than of “receiving.” Live your dreams, yes! But master the art of receptivity. Choose “flow” over “effort.” Soften your edges. Learn to attract, draw in, and magnetize. Allow life and other people to deliver to you that which you desire.

10. Be soul-led.

In matters of love, heed the voice within you. If you’re not sure what it’s saying, learn to tune into it and hear it more clearly. Friends, family, and society will in most cases lead you astray when it comes to love, for only you know what’s in your heart. The larger arc of your love life is a private matter between you and a higher power.

11. Exude mad, passionate love of self.

The more you beam upon yourself, honor, and place importance upon yourself, the more others will follow your lead. Your unshakable love of self will ensure that your wish for a great relationship is realized.

Naomi Pabst, PhD author page.
Naomi Pabst, PhD

Naomi Pabst, PhD, is an Ivy League professor turned transformational teacher and wisdom warrior. She is a professional intuitive, with a thriving Manhattan-based practice, serving clients throughout the globe. mindbodygreen recently named Naomi "A Woman to Watch in Wellness," dubbing her "The Intuitive Educator." It's a fitting description given that she spent 12 years teaching black literature and cultural theory at Harvard and Yale respectively. She's an expert on matters of identity and human difference. Three years ago, Naomi walked away from academia to pursue her calling as a speaker, writer, consultant, and leader of workshops and master classes. Naomi is currently writing a book that places the topic of race in a paradigm of human interconnectivity, oneness, and freedom for all.