3 Ways A Romantic Relationship Can Spark Your Spiritual Awakening
A spiritual awakening is a shift in consciousness from body identification (I am only this body, I'm finite, I'm separate from everything else) to spirit consciousness (we're all sourced from the same energy, I am more than this body, we are all One).
Right now, there's a huge movement toward awakening. A lot of people are moving from identifying solely with their body to experiencing themselves as something much greater.
As Spirit. As Source. As energy. As the infinite nature that we all are.
When we start to wake up, we naturally develop a strong desire to know ourselves in a deep, intimate way. That's what consciousness is—a desire to know all of oneself.
Alongside this desire to know ourselves, a matching desire to create unbelievably deep, intimate relationships with others emerges as well. How come?
Because we are all one.
We want to feel and experience a deep, spiritual union—in ourselves and with all of life. One of the main expressions of this union is romantic relationships.
As you know, relationships provoke our energy, wounds, and love more than anything else. The good, the bad, the ugly—and let’s not forget the beautiful, exquisite, and mind-blowing, too.
Because relationships are so provocative, they're the perfect experience for us to awaken in. By bringing awareness to the parts of you that emerge in relationships, you become more conscious. And that's what you're here to do.
Below are three tools to keep in mind as you embark on this path of awakening through romantic love. Let your connection to others be the map that guides you to the truth of who you are.
1. Your relationships are a reflection of you.
We attract what we are.
We attract the energy with which we resonate; we attract the beliefs with which we're aligned.
As a spiritual being, you're not just a body who has random encounters in life. You're creating your reality, and you do so with your energy and beliefs.
When your beliefs are aligned with spirit consciousness (wholeness, love, and inner fulfillment), you create a reality that mirrors this inner union. Your reality and relationships are imbued with an energy of connection and completion.
The places you're stuck in the viewpoint of separation (not aligned with internal wholeness) will be mirrored back to you in relationships, as well. These are fears and limiting beliefs, and many of them will arise in the context of romantic love.
To awaken in relationships, we must become willing to see ourselves in relationships. To stop blaming other people for what shows up in our realities, to know that if it's here, then we've called it in. We've done so with our energy and beliefs.
Become willing to look at what shows up in your relationships with other people and contemplate how it’s a reflection of you. Doing so will awaken you even more to who you really are.
2. Your relationship will bring you face-to-face with fear.
One of the most challenging parts of intimate relationships is dealing with the fear they bring up in us.
The fear of not being met. The fear of being abandoned. The fear of losing freedom. The fear of not being good enough.
It's overwhelming how much fear relationships can bring to the surface! Why does it happen this way?
Because we have all experienced hurt and disappointment in our early relationships. And these wounds create a faulty belief system that tells us, "This is what happens in love."
The good news is that this isn't the end of the story. You're here to evolve beyond these wounds—to know yourself as Love in every aspect of your life. And you'll do so by pinpointing the fears that arise in relationships and calling them into question. Let me give you an example:
If you're aligned with the belief that "I'm not going to be understood in relationships," you'll continue to create this experience in your reality (the experience of not being understood). As uncomfortable as this is, it’s also really good information or you—it's an opportunity for you to awaken even more.
Once you see that you're re-creating a fear-based pattern, you can say to yourself, "Wait…I'm creating a reality based in lack and separation… Do I really need to believe that I'm not going to be understood? The essence of who I am knows that this is not the only possibility—this is not the ultimate truth about who I am."
As you come face to face with your fears in relationships, you'll get to see clearly where you're not aligned with the energy of Oneness and Truth. This creates a road map for you to dissolve the beliefs that are no longer serving you, naturally advancing you into a more complete experience of love.
3. Your relationship is a place for you to express unconditional love.
Loving someone for no reason. Loving someone just because. Loving someone so deeply that you could never, ever not love them.
These are all expressions of unconditional love. They're expressions of who we really are.
You're being called to become the embodiment of love. Love is what you are at the deepest level, and for this reason, it's what you're here to do.
There's nothing that compares to loving like there's no tomorrow, nothing more exquisite than saying yes to the person who's standing right in front of you.
We live for these moments—we live to express love.
There's a reason we never get sick of talking about relationships—they're a potent container for us to see ourselves and experience life deeply.
Your relationship is a spiritual path. It's a way for you to awaken to all of yourself—to the illusions you're still carrying and to the love that wants to pour through.
Say yes to experiencing yourself fully in relationships; Love wants to be known as you.
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves, and she's also the instructor of the popular mindbodygreen courses How To Become The Most Attractive Version Of Yourself and How To Attract A Partner.