3 Meditations For Improving Your Sex Life & Dating Instincts
Here is the truth: You are a spiritual being with an amazing amount of vital life force flowing through you. It's unlimited, really and truly. And depending on your degree of awareness of that universal life energy, it can make you feel alive, wide-awake, and present.
Now it's time to put the sexy back in spiritual. We don't often connect these two realms of our lives, but in reality, they're deeply interwoven. Meditation and spiritual practices can be powerful tools for honing and strengthening your sexuality, whether as an individual or with a partner.
Here are three of the best meditations that can help you with your sexual and romantic life:
1. Call on your senses.
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to smell things about people's character, personality, and your chemical and intimate mixing together? It sounds far-fetched, but like all of our potential intuitive senses, we really can develop an olfactory psychic sense. We all have intuition; it is simply a matter of opening up this particular avenue. In my last 18 years teaching people how to communicate with their spirit guides and open their intuition using shamanic techniques, I have witnessed the opening of psychic smell senses in a handful of people. With my medical intuitive clients, we have learned together how these senses can be activated by love and soul connection between people.
Anyone can do this! When you are dating, it can be useful to be able to sense etheric smells, which are simply intuitive pieces of information delivered to you through the medium of your sense of smell. Just like how people's nonverbal cues give us information about who they are and how they feel, so does the way they smell to us. These may include pheromones and hormonal smells—there's a whole body of research around how our natural scents can be sexual cues for each other.
Everyone will react a bit differently to different scents, which range from the obvious to the subtle to the almost undetectable. I remember certain smells from childhood that meant my parents would be in certain moods, for example. Etheric smells can also inform you about the person you are dating and about your compatibility together. Once you have opened your psychic smell senses, you can essentially notice your gut instincts about people. Your olfactory senses can give you information in an instinctive way, such that you might find yourself able to just know if someone in your office is crushing on you, for example. Their smell will tell you either literally (you actually smell the scent of their attraction) or intuitively (you just know he likes you in an instinctive way).
When you open your senses to the subtle, you can receive even more information. Information is power. It helps you see more of the full picture in situations and make more informed decisions. You can sniff out a potential date if you want it and, as you learn to trust your instincts, gauge your compatibility. How handy!
Below is a process to help you open up your psychic smell senses, including your ability to smell etheric pheromones:
- State aloud, "I ask that all that transpires during this meditation be for the highest good of all life and in accordance with universal Natural Law, helping all and harming none."
- Next, state aloud, "I am my Higher Self. I allow my Higher Self to merge with my being in perfect harmony. I connect with my spirit family and the archangelic realm for guidance and loving support."
- Say aloud, "I ask that I be protected fully during this process and enveloped in pure love."
- Breathe deeply and quiet your body and mind.
- State aloud, "I now allow my psychic sense of smell to gently open. I let this sense only enhance my existence. I trust divine presence to provide me with ease in all ways. My senses are all self-correcting and self-regulating, and they all function for my optimum and highest good. It is done."
- Place your hands on your heart center and rest quietly in the enveloping sense of pure love for at least seven minutes before continuing your day.
Be present with your sacred self and listen to your intuition. The more present to the moment you are, the better your smell senses will work. The more mindful you are of the way your body feels generally and when moving through space, the better your intuitive senses will work.
2. Tap into the hara (aka the center).
The hara is the Taoist term for the "seat of energy," located in your abdomen. It is where your power flows from. This area includes the uterus and reproductive area for those who have them, and there's unique power here: You can hold and sustain a living human being in your hara! It is amazing whether or not you ever choose to do it.
Your hara, inherently sacred and sensual, is a powerhouse—and it is you. Many people will want to receive some of its goodness through sexual activity. Remember, though, that its purpose is for you, not for anyone else. When you do engage your hara through sex, you and your partner will be able to have an equal exchange of energy. With an honest partner, you can share your powerful hara energy with their equally powerful hara energy.
You, of course, don't need a partner to tap into this energy. You can tap into your seat of energy to empower yourself and tap into the powerful energy source of creativity inside of you. You will be more creative, more powerful, and more in touch with your identity, and you can heal yourself with your hara power.
Here's how to do it:
- Lie down on your back or side or sit comfortably.
- Breathe deeply and relax.
- Place your hands on your hara, the low center of your abdomen, cupping it and holding it lovingly.
- Breathe with it, and begin to tune in to it.
- Feel the power of your hara beneath your hands. Let it get stronger.
- Affirm internally that it is safe for you to be powerful. Tell your hara it is time to let your full power flow through you.
- Stay present and feel this power radiating through you. It is self-regulating and will go where it needs to for your highest good.
- Affirm this now. Say aloud, "I allow my hara power to amplify and fully express itself. I allow this power to be self-regulating for the highest good and to only enhance my reality."
- Sit with this sensation in your body for as long as you feel compelled. Really feel it and revel in what a gift it is. Be grateful for your beautiful body!
3. Meditate together: the triple infinity technique.
This technique for couples is loosely adapted from Taoist spiritual practices. It is a form of Taoist dual cultivation, a sexual practice similar to tantra.
To begin, one of you first sits cross-legged up against a wall with several large pillows behind their back. This can be on the bed or a clean carpeted floor. This person then reaches behind their back and raises the pillows up off the floor while the other partner slips into their lap and wraps their legs around the first person's back. The first person can then let the pillows go and lean back.
You should be sitting so the fronts of your bodies are flush together from base to chest. You can place a pillow under your backside as needed for comfort.
Embrace and relax.
As you hug each other, let your minds become quiet, like you are meditating together. Notice each other's breathing. In time, bring your attention to three key areas of the body:
- The low abdomen area
- The center of the chest or heart center
- The "third eye" area between the eyes, encompassing the center of the forehead
Feel each area in turn. Notice the connection between you in each area. Feel it. It may feel like pulsing or tingling. Let there be a gentle feeling of an infinity symbol in each of the three areas, lazily circling between your bodies, hearts, and minds.
Let this practice be a relaxing part of your time together that you both look forward to in order to promote strength and connection in your relationship.
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Amy Leigh Mercree is a medical intuitive, holistic health coach, and bestselling author of ten books. She counsels people in the underrated art of self-love to create happier lives and teaches internationally sharing Meet Your Guides, Bestseller Bootcamp, and Goddess Shamanism classes.
Mercree is the author of The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating, A Little Bit of Chakras, Joyful Living: 101 Ways to Transform Your Spirit and Revitalize Your Life, The Chakras and Crystals Cookbook, The Compassion Revolution: 30 Days of Living from the Heart, A Little Bit of Meditation, Essential Oils Handbook, Apple Cider Vinegar Handbook, A Little Bit of Mindfulness, and The Mood Book: Crystals, Oils, and Rituals to Elevate Your Spirit.
Mercree has been featured in Glamour, Women’s Health, Inc, Shape, The Huffington Post, Your Tango, Soul and Spirit Magazine, mindbodygreen, CBS, NBC, HelloGiggles, Reader’s Digest, Bustle, Country Living, Forbes, OprahMagazine.com, and many more.