Does Your Relationship Have A Culture Of Appreciation? Why It's So Important

Have you ever considered the role that good management plays in successful companies? Employing the metaphor of management can be a helpful frame for you to reflect on your behavior in your relationship.

For example, if you wanted to have a successful company, you would take great care and time to articulate your mission, values, objectives, and to identify the corresponding behavior required to embody this mission. The same is true with your partnership. The more intentional and clear you can be with your partner about the values and behaviors of your partnership, the more successful, joyful, and satisfying your relationship culture will be.

Every successful company has a foundational commitment to ensuring that the people who are part of the culture feel seen, heard, and valued. People choose to continue to work in an environment where they know they have an impact, and the only way they know they have an impact is because someone told them so.

In relationships, a robust appreciation practice is a tremendous way to ward off resentment and criticism. Making daily deposits of appreciation into the bank account of your relationship will also develop a culture of goodwill and high regard. The daily appreciations you offer your partner will create a reserve of generosity and trust, which will serve your partnership during inevitable moments of conflict.

In a thriving company, "positive recognition" is one of the fundamental ways that managers support the health, sustainability, and success of a company. However, if we borrow business research as a way to explore partnership satisfaction, we can learn a great deal. 

Do you know the ways your partner likes to be seen? What attributes or behaviors do they value about themselves? Are you recognizing those capacities? Are you recognizing the things that you value? Business research shows that employee behaviors that are recognized and celebrated are repeated and increased.

Verbal recognition is paramount, but in what other ways do you like to be recognized? In what ways does your partner like to be recognized? Reflect on the beginning of your relationship and ask yourself: What were the initial romantic behaviors that my partner really enjoyed?

Timeliness might mean positive recognition in the moment of witnessing your partner's behavior, but it can also mean being intentional about creating an "appreciation event." An "appreciation event" means that you check in with your partner to see if they are available to listen without distraction to you as you express your appreciation. You can also create an event by crafting a text, email, Post-it, or other creative gesture to acknowledge and celebrate them.

Positive recognition is a key to any healthy, loving relationship. Just like a work culture that we look forward to being a part of, when we offer intentional, regular appreciation of our partner, we begin to have a shared view that our partnership is a great place to be. The inner belief transforms into, "My relationship is a place where I am seen and valued. The difficult moments are worth it because I feel so appreciated!"