Human beings are bursting at the seams with information to give and take from one another. We are continuously integrating our surroundings and doing our very best to navigate this thing called life. Being an effective communicator is about being responsible for your greatness and realizing your capacity to listen and express. I call this owning your experience.
In Circling, a relational practice I facilitate, we talk about something called "owning your experience" (shortened here as OYE). This, my friends, this, is a game-changer. When I say OYE, I mean taking full responsibility for the impact you have, the thoughts that exist in your brain that could potentially cause a mess in your interactions, and practicing one of the most empowering tools for relating to people every single day.
Bryan Bayer writes in The Art of Circling, "when owning our experiences, we’re sharing something that cannot be argued with. Others can agree or disagree, but the truth of our assertion is inarguable." When we project our interpretation of reality onto others, there is an increased possibility for confusion in a relationship. But there are ways to avoid this.
Below I’ve listed some tips to help you cultivate awareness in your conversations with others. This practice can be challenging. It makes us feel vulnerable to share our truth at any moment. Experiment with what happens when you take full responsibility for who you are and how you show up in any situation. Conversations exist outside of projection when I have the ability to objectively discern what is me and what is not me. That includes my stories about how I think things should be. Having effective communication skills takes practice. Sometimes it comes effortlessly, and sometimes I have to drop my agenda to welcome another perspective.
Without further ado, OYE!