There are plenty of inspiring quotes and articles on the importance of letting go, and after reading the suggested mantras over and over again, I found that I was still holding on. I didn't know how to simply let go.
Many of you will relate to this: I often think more about those I love than I do about myself. Which is why I don't let too many people into my inner circle. I love fiercely and care so much about these people that I have a hard time not thinking about the people I love. Sometimes to the detriment of my own wellbeing.
I've recently learned that when I am not feeling the reciprocation of consideration in a relationship, it's for the highest good of all involved that I let go and turn that energy back to fuelling my own wellness. Not because I love them any less, but because in an expectant state of hoping for anything from someone, I am not truly loving them, nor myself.
But I needed some tools to help me let go. Tools that were more real to me than trying to forget the people that with whom I felt a disconnect. I needed something more than a mantra.
On my personal path to self wellness, I've discovered these two simple exercises which I now use habitually in order to cut the ties which bind me in Love:
1. Write a "release letter" to the person.
The simple act of getting the feelings out of you and into the universe has a positive influence in the process of letting go.
Write a letter to the person's angel expressing how you feel. Explain to their higher self your wish for connection.
Tell their soul's guide that you understand that they are walking their own personal path, which may not include connecting with you right now.
Express that you support their personal development on their own soul's journey, and because of this, you want to let them be free of any expectations.
Make it clear that you are letting go in full trust that when the time is right, your wavelengths may connect once again.
Make a wish for their happiness and health.
Finish by saying that you love them enough to wait forever, and that you love yourself enough to reclaim the energy that you would have given in loving them.
Use your intuition about what you would like to do with this letter once it's written. I have burned many of my own such letters, and have wrapped up a few in a beautiful package and stored them in a box somewhere.
Not once have I ever sent one of these release letters to the person, though maybe you would want to for your own reasons. But before you do, I recommend that you sleep on that decision.
2. Visualize cutting the cord with that person.
Even though sometimes it has been of my own volition to let go of certain people, that didn't make the separation any easier. I use the following exercise for cleansing the negative emotions of hurt and grief which arose from letting go of past relationships.
This exercise can be used whether you did the leaving, or if someone has left or hurt you.
Start by remembering a person who disturbs your thoughts or feelings in great detail. See their face, their body, hear their voice with it's intonation.
The moment the image is clear in your mind, imagine this person happy and smiling, however hard it may be.
Now, in your mind's eye, draw a pink circle of love around this person. The generation of love is the healing light which begins to erase darkness.
Hold this image for a minute.
Once you can hold the image of the person clearly encapsulated in a bubble of pink love, then take a deep breath in, and on the exhale, blow the bubble farther and farther away from you, toward the sun.
Continue to picture them happy and healthy as they float farther and farther away from you.
At one point you may feel the need to "cut the cord" which connects you to the bubble. Feel where the cord attaches to you. Is it at your heart? Your mind? Your solar plexus or maybe your genitals?
Once you feel where they are connected to you physically, you can energetically cut the cord by using your imagination, or symbolically with a knife or your hand. With the cord cut, feel that their energy is freed from you.
Finally, whenever a memory of this person arises, you can simply imagine them happy and floating further and further away in their bubble toward the sun.
These exercises may be repeated as you feel necessary. The simple act of having a letting go ritual allowed me to harness the real power of release.