It was 2013. I had finally recovered from a horrible breakup that occurred a year before and was embracing the independence that comes with being single in your 20s. One morning I woke up and made the decision to completely focus on myself instead of worrying about dating. I spent a lot of my alone time building a side gig that involved designing jewelry and entered a few art shows where I met a lot of other artists—photographers, models, makeup artists who wanted to collaborate with me.
For a while, I truly loved this atmosphere. I was accomplishing things I never thought I could do on my own, and it fed my creative ambition for a few years. So, what does this have to do with manifesting the man of my dreams? I'll explain.
The real mental shift came about a month or two before I met my current boyfriend of three years. Getting the hang of this whole "being alone" thing, I started to move outside my comfort zone. I went after things I had never had the confidence to follow through on. I started going to small indie performances by bands I loved (that my friends weren't into); I took a bus to Maine and went skydiving as my birthday present to myself; I even joined a running group to train for my first half marathon.
I was loving my life and putting really radical vibes into the universe. I always think back and laugh to myself about how I unintentionally manifested a guy who loves all of the above before I even knew what manifesting was. Seriously. This was before I heard of Gabby Bernstein. It was years before I started meditating.
People always ask me how we met, and I love telling the story because it reminds me of the huge role our mindset really plays in the way our lives unfold. We got to know each other at a mutual friend's Independence Day barbecue. We discovered our shared love of music, and he invited me to a music festival that September. It sort of skyrocketed from there.
We were hanging out all the time, started dating shortly thereafter, and moved in together, all within two years.
What most people don't know is that that I actually met him for the first time at a New Year's Eve party the year before, with the same mutual friends who had thrown the Fourth of July party. We maybe exchanged two words that night and went our separate ways. I think back to the mindset I was in during that time—still recovering from my breakup, kind of hating all guys, feeling sorry for myself, and definitely not putting out radical vibes.
I'm sharing this story to remind anyone out there experiencing heartache, confusion, or unhappiness that it's completely possible to dig your way out of it. If the idea of taking some huge action is too scary, start small and build from there. If you've found yourself in a career that you're not passionate about, sign up for a class or workshop in something that excites you. If you keep telling yourself that you need to start eating healthy, choose a recipe from your Pinterest board and make it tonight. If you're single and looking for love, begin by loving yourself.
Create the life you want. Find happiness that depends on no one but yourself. Once you start making your growth and fulfillment priority No. 1, everything else will start to fall into place.