Do you feel resigned to being socially anxious forever because you see it as part of who you are? If so, you don't believe that ever being competent in social situations is your lot in life.
But really, the greatest difference between the person who works the crowd confidently and thinks "I'm crap; I'll never be like that," and the one who goes "How do I get there?" is that the second knows it's a matter of developing the skills, mindsets, and self-compassion.
On my journey toward overcoming my social anxiety, I learned that the most socially confident people fell into two groups. The first group was people who were brought up in an environment where everyone else was socially confident — what we're exposed to as young children is what we take to be our outcome in life. The second group is people who once identified as socially awkward and worked their way to confidence. And the commonality in both groups is that both prove social confidence can be taught.
Linda's top tip is to set an intention before you attend any event. Ask yourself, "How do I want to feel as I get ready to go? Do I want to feel excited? Curious? Happy?" Then, spend five minutes tapping into a time when this feeling was present. Focus on where this feeling is in your body, the color of this feeling. Then, visualize yourself in the event, reveling in that feeling and color.
Mindset work isn't about instant results — otherwise, I'd happily open my wallet for "thought surgery." Instead, it's about consistently showing up for yourself and setting the intention to love yourself and grow into who you really are, unencumbered by the crippling perspectives that color how you presently see yourself.
Reframing your negative mindsets about social anxiety has two purposes — it tells you you're not alone, and it builds foundations for success. With practice, it starts becoming ingrained into who you are, the same way "I am socially anxious" was once tattooed on your identity.