Psalm Isadora is the top tantra expert in the world and a highly sought-after sexuality, relationship, and trauma expert specializing in women’s health and empowerment as well as modern sexual education. In this post, Psalm explains how to fully engage every one of your five senses in the sacred sexual act and how to use anticipation for more pleasurable sex. For more of Psalm’s insights on the tantric approach to sex and relationships, explore her class, Tantra 101: Awaken Your Sexuality & Deepen Your Mind-Body-Soul Connection.
There is such an air of mystery surrounding tantra, it can be as intimidating as it is alluring. But in truth, tantra is not for the few—it's for the many. And Tantra's only real secret is that there's nothing about it that should or needs to be kept hidden. So here are seven of the most common myths about tantra and why you can now forget about them. It's time to bring this transformative practice into your bedroom and into your life.
We all come from sex. It's the most natural thing in the world. So, why is this the last taboo?
Myth 1: Tantra is all about marathon sessions of lovemaking.
Truth: Length of time doesn't define a great sexual experience.
You can have a tantra quickie as well as a marathon session. Tantra is different from regular sex because it connects you in body, mind, and soul. Most sex only connects you in the body. Going the distance in being attentive to your partner's and your own needs is more important than the length of time you make love.
Tantra teaches you how to do that. So, while the breathwork you learn does support stamina, the goal isn't just to have marathon sex. When you put time and care into respecting and fully enjoying each other's bodies, easing into moments of pleasure instead of rushing into them, tantra will help you reach new sensual heights through a deeper connection with your lover.
Myth 2: You need a partner to practice it.
Truth: Tantra is not just about having the physical act of sex. It's about cultivating your sexual energy, or chi.
It's like learning yoga or martial arts: You start by understanding your own body—practicing deep breathing, relaxation, and awareness. Inside everyone there is a switch—the kunda or light bulb of sexual energy. Most people have never been taught how to turn on that switch.
I always teach people to start initiating sexual energy in themselves so that when they have sex with a partner, they will be able to share that special tantric energy they have developed. Solo tantra is very powerful. It leads to increased confidence and energy and makes you the kind of person who walks into a room and has that special, magnetic glow.
Myth 3: It's only for yoga-obsessed, kale-loving people who wear crystals.
Truth: With tantra, you're awakening through the senses, and meditation simply means having fewer thoughts per minute.
Anything you do that helps slow down mental chatter is a form of meditation, which in itself is a form of yoga. There are literally thousands of ways to meditate, though many people have only been introduced to one.
In fact, there is a whole other branch of dynamic meditation forms. All of these can bring you to that door of golden stillness by engaging your physical body through movement, sound, and pleasure. Tantra does just that. And, no, you don't have to be on your way to receiving a 200-hour yoga teacher training certification to practice it. All are welcome!
Myth 4: Tantra is only about achieving a mind-blowing orgasm.
Truth: Yes, you'll have an intense orgasm—or even multiple orgasms—but tantra isn't only about sex.
The biggest secret in tantra is that sexual energy is a potent force you can utilize to create the life of your dreams. Sex and orgasm are a gateway to meditation, deeper connection with your partner on a soul level, and a feeling of total bliss that comes from being connected to everything. Your body is the vehicle through which you experience the movie of your life. And tantra helps you to open your heart, allowing your feelings to guide you in an intuitive way, free from fear.
Myth 5: Those who practice tantra are in a cult.
Truth: Often when people don't understand something, they're unfortunately quick to label and portray it negatively as taboo.
That type of shame is crippling to lives and relationships. It prevents individuals from growing into their best selves. So, no, tantra isn't a cult. The idea of bringing rituals into your life sometimes gets a bad rap. A ritual for your sex life can be just that. It's simply about creating a practice, or a habit, to enhance an experience.
It helps people develop positive relationships with themselves and helps them feel worthy to enter into sacred, healthy relationships with other people. Tantra teaches those who open themselves up to the philosophy how to release their untapped potential by engaging all the senses.
Myth 6: Tantra promotes having casual sex.
Truth: There is a tantric expression I like to reflect on: "Everything in this world is poison or medicine, depending on how much you take and what you use it for."
Some might talk up their knowledge of tantra. They might try to make it seem as if they have some sort of magical prowess and hype up all the people they have slept with. But they're just misleading people with a false perception of what tantra actually is and what it really promotes.
Whether you're in a monogamous relationship or not, there is nothing casual about this incredibly meaningful practice. Instead, tantra has the sacred ability crack us open—to make us vulnerable with another human being—in such a deeply intimate way that we connect on every level: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Tantra heats up that frozen part of yourself—the part that's scared of living in Technicolor.
It transforms that part of you that shies away from trying new things that intrigue you or spark your imagination. It breaks through the emotional and psychological walls that stop us from experiencing what we truly want, which is authenticity in our relationships and in ourselves.
Tantra is love—true love for ourselves and others. It awakens the feminine Shakti life force that is inside every woman. Shakti is what makes us glow. It's the inner fire that attracts good people, energy, and opportunities to help us reach our highest potential.
Myth 7: It's too spiritual.
Truth: The techniques of tantra are not too weird, unattainable, or mystical for anyone.
I spent nine years in India studying the roots of ancient tantra and creating techniques that apply to the busy, modern lifestyle. I have worked with tens of thousands of people, and I know anyone can do this. By applying these simple techniques, tantra can meet you wherever you are and change you for the better.
I have seen people liberate their voices, heal from trauma, attract the right partner, get promotions at work, manifest more money, start creative projects, and heal from symptoms of depression. All you need to benefit from tantra is the desire.
Tantra is about understanding that sex is the most natural thing and the most sacred thing we can experience. It helps you break through to physical empowerment and sexual liberation. Tantra is about merging mind, body, and soul. What could be more beautiful than that?