8 Steps to Attract the Greatest Love Of Your Life

Marriage and Family Therapist By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.
8 Steps to Attract the Greatest Love Of Your Life

We all desire connection: Feeling seen, known, and deeply bonded with another person is what life is all about. Love, undoubtedly, is the sweetest experience there is.

Yet many of us struggle to attract great love into our lives. We want it so badly, yet it feels so far away.

The reason we struggle is simple: If we’re not embodying love, we won’t attract it.

You create your reality from the inside out. Your relationships mirror your feelings about yourself, your beliefs about relationships, and how much love you embody.

When you truly become love, love has no choice but to appear in front of you in all forms (including the form of an incredible partnership).

Below are eight steps that will transform your internal experience of love so you can attract the greatest love of your life. Become love within, and it will have no choice but to come to you.

1. Find love within yourself.

Everything you create starts within. If you want to create great love, you must first become great love.

This is easier than you’d think. Love, acceptance, connection, and bliss are all energies that come from within. You can find inner love by getting quiet and listening to yourself, following your breath, focusing on the energy near your heart, and setting the intention to connect to your truth.

By diving deeply into yourself, you give love a chance to surface. Once you tap into that love and grow from it, you will attract much more love into your life.


2. Identify and examine your barriers to love.

Attracting love is challenging to everyone, because we all hold onto barriers to love. These barriers are the beliefs that tell you that you can’t have the love you want. On the bright side, they’re easy to overcome — as long as you know what they are.

To discover your personal blocks to love, ask yourself this question: “What makes me doubt that I can have a great relationship?” The answer will show you exactly what beliefs you need to refute in order to transform your experience in love.

Identifying and refuting your limiting beliefs is how you transcend them so you can start to attract the type of relationship you really want.

3. Forgive and let go of your past.

To create a new experience in love, you have to have an internal “clean slate.” That means forgiving those who have hurt you and letting go of the pain you’ve experienced in past relationships.

Your reality is a result of what’s inside you. Resentments you cling to will be reflected in your life and relationships until you let them go.

Letting go of resentment means cultivating compassion for the human experience.

We’ve all been hurt in the past, and we’ve all hurt others. This hurt stems from the wounds we carry within ourselves.

As we heal our own wounds, we find compassion for the wounds of others. This is how forgiveness takes place and we create a new reality in love.


4. Get clear about the type of relationship you desire.

Ask yourself what your ideal relationship looks and feels like.

The answers will help you create a map of your desires and show you what energies to cultivate in your life. This is the cornerstone of attracting great love.

5. Cultivate that experience of love within.

The energy you emit determines the people and experiences you attract. Cultivate the energetic qualities you want to attract from within.

That process looks like this:

If you want to feel deeply adored by a partner, start by imagining and cultivating the experience of being deeply adored by yourself. What does being adored feel like? Familiarize yourself with the experience on an internal level, and similar experiences will be called to you externally.


6. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated.

People will reflect your perception and treatment of yourself to you. To attract an incredible partnership, you have to create an incredible partnership with yourself!

Love yourself, listen to yourself, honor yourself, cherish yourself … whatever that means to you! By knowing how incredible and worthy you truly are, you will invite partners who see and experience you as incredible and worthy, too.

7. Trust. Let this process unfold naturally.

There is divine orchestration in life. The formula is simple: You create what you are.

Once you understand this truth, you can do the internal work and watch the results unfold in your life. This, as we all know, is not easy to do.

We like to be in control. We like to be the orchestrators. That’s because we’re scared that love won’t come, and that we won’t get what we want.

I want to be clear when I say we can’t attract love from fear. We can’t attract love when we’re trying to control the process. We can only attract love from love. That’s why we have to trust, let go, and allow the process to unfold naturally.

If you find yourself trying to control the outcome, just continue with the steps above. Cultivate love from within and know that as you embody the essence of love, it has no choice but to come to you.


8. Let love lead the way.

Love is always your guide. Love is the light that shines from within and creates beauty everywhere you look.

Become the love that you already are — feel it, listen to it, and let it guide you. Love, after all, is the only thing that truly knows the way.

Please leave a comment telling us what you’re going to do to become love so you can attract an incredible relationship into your life.

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Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to...
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