3 Choices That Will Help You Attract A Devoted Partner

Marriage and Family Therapist By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.

I recently started dating an incredible man. As our connection deepens, I can’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come on my journey of personal growth, and how it relates to romantic love.

It wasn’t long ago that I experienced a ton of unease in relationships. It was as if I simply had a knack for attracting men who couldn't show up for me. And yet I felt a deep longing to be seen, cherished and loved.

As painful as that time was, I now realize that I wouldn't change a thing. Because being unfulfilled in relationships helped me get to where I am now — a place of tremendous clarity, specifically about the type of love I want to have.

Today, I’m happy to report that find myself in a completely different situation. Not only do I feel secure, poised and vibrant while deepening into a relationship with an amazing man, but I also chose someone who wants nothing more than to shower me with his love.

So how did I go from feeling deeply unsatisfied in relationships to attracting such a devoted partner? Well, that’s what this article is about.

Below are three of the most crucial practices that shifted my experience in romantic love. If you implement these practices into your own life, you’ll set yourself on the path to magnetize a devoted partner and find incredible love.

1. Practice radical self-love.

You’ve heard it before, that’s because it’s true: self-love is the key to attracting an amazing relationship. The reason is simple: we attract people who treat us how we treat ourselves.

Unfortunately, most of us carry hidden beliefs that we’re not worthy or good enough to be loved. As a result of internalizing these beliefs, we (unconsciously) create relationships that “prove” our ingrained theories to be true — people and circumstances that make us feel unworthy of love! This ingrains the faulty belief further, and the cycle of unsatisfying relationships continues…

The way to end this cycle is by valuing yourself in a way you never have before. Listening to your needs and desires, honoring your feelings, getting to know yourself… taking all the subtle steps that you’d want a very-attuned partner to take with you.

By caring for yourself in the way you want someone else to, you send an energetic message out into the universe that attracts that a matching person into your life. In other words, you literally become a magnet for really good love.

2. Believe you can experience something you haven’t experienced before.

I often hear the question, “How can I believe in a relationship that I’ve never had before?” My answer is this: imagination and faith.

We each have the ability to imagine realities that don’t exist yet; this is how progress is made in our world. As we all know, “I have a dream …” is very powerful statement. When you stand by that dream, things that were once impossible suddenly become a reality. The same holds true in love.

To create your dream in love, ask yourself questions like these: How do I want to feel in a relationship? What is it like to be loved by another person?

Then feel into your answers; get comfortable with them! In doing so, you’re creating a new relationship-reality from the inside-out. This is exactly how it worked for me…

Before I had experienced what it was like to be cherished by a man, I could imagine what it would be like. I let myself get comfortable with that internal-vision, knowing that it would eventually come true. The more certain I became, the closer the relationship got. Until one day, he was standing right in front of me.

So stretch your imagination and have faith in the unknown. All things are possible, especially when it comes to love.

3. Make yourself available for love.

A year and a half ago, I started to fall in love with an incredible, devoted man. But at the time, the thought of being in a relationship scared the hell out of me. So I fled, felt a ton of sadness as a result, and fortunately, learned my lesson: An amazing person came into my life, but fear got the best of me. I was not being available for love.

Being available for love has nothing to do with knowing the future or making a commitment. It’s simply about trusting that there’s a reason certain people show up on our paths. When you give those special people a chance, you open yourself up to a whole new kind of love.

Most of us think we’re available for love, but often, we’re really not. We’re scared! And so the moment a person comes into our lives, we back away, doubt everything, and do a ton of other things that sabotage the experience and connection.

To shift this pattern, start by taking the pressure off! Life is an experiment, and so is a relationship. When you’re attracted to someone, approach it with an open mind and heart. You don’t have to make a lifelong commitment in a day!

To help with this process, you can repeat mantras such as: I’m willing to see who this person is. I’m willing to show up the best I can. I’m willing to see where this goes. I’m willing to be here now.

What you’ll find when you become available for love is that you’ll dive deeper into relationships than you ever have before. This doesn’t mean you won’t be scared (because believe me, I am) and it doesn’t mean you don’t have doubts (I have those, too). It just means you become willing to give it all you got, just for today. The more you show up for love, the more it will show up for you.

I want you to remember that love is your very nature - it’s what you’re here to do. By implementing the practices above, you’ll literally become an embodiment of love. And when that happens, love has no other choice but to be potently attracted to you.

Please leave a comment below telling us how you’re going to become the embodiment of love.

And if you want to know how I can help you attract an amazing relationship, sign up here.

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to...
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