In every moment, you can choose to focus on what's working about your relationship and what you love about your partner or what's not working and what annoys you. If you're a glass half-empty type of person prone to negative thinking, this will be a challenge for you and you'll need to commit to a conscious and daily practice of orienting toward the positive. But the first step is to shift your belief that perfection is possible and allow the fantasy of the fairy tale prince or princess to shatter.
It's not easy to allow the fantasy to shatter. Many people have unconsciously carried and embellished this fantasy since childhood, and we live in a culture that encourages the belief that perfection exists. So when you start to let it go, there's a grieving process that often needs to occur before you can accept a realistic model of healthy love.
As one of my course members so poignantly shared (with permission to publish here):