This is one of my tell-it-like-it-is posts, the kind in which I blow the whistle on the veil of falsity and illusion that our culture encourages around intimate relationships. Because we're inundated with fantasy via Hollywood and Disney, we develop false beliefs early in life that relationships shouldn't be hard and that our romantic other should be something akin to a god or goddess.
In the early stages, when the honeymoon euphoria releases endorphins and other lovely hormones into our bodies, we may, indeed gaze upon our partners like they're a magic elixir arrived to induce a state of constant happiness. But as this drug wears off, as it always will, the sizzle fades, the glow dims, and we start to realize that we're with a regular human being. And regular human beings are far from perfect.
My clients often feel profound guilt for thinking or feeling less-than-blissful thoughts or feelings about their partner. They clearly don't know that it's normal not to feel madly in love every moment of every day, and that it's normal to feel annoyed or irritated at times. It's normal to look at your partner like he or she is an alien descended from Mars, and it's normal to wish they were different.
So let go of the guilt, and read the following list to know that you're far from alone when you react negatively to your partner's inherently flawed and beautiful humanness.
The truth about human beings: