The most common question I get when I work with couples is "How can we improve our communication?"
I struggled with this myself in the early days of my marriage and mostly blamed my wife for our many misunderstandings and disagreements. What I didn’t know at the time was that it wasn’t our ability to talk with each other or to understand each other that was the problem. The problem was that I didn’t understand my role in our interactions.
In my 25 years of conflict-resolution work, I've come to believe that working on communication to fix a struggling marriage is a waste of time. I believe it’s a distraction from the real issues that exist in the marriage.
The mistake that many people (even experts) make is to try to fix the marriage by working on communication. This actually often makes things worse. How effective do you find working on anything with someone you don't feel connected to or even like? The answer is probably "really, really not effective." That's why the priority should be, instead, to restore the feelings of connection with your partner.