As a business owner, I’m constantly looking to attract the right clients to my practice. As a friend and a lover, I’m constantly looking to attract soul mates into my life.
Turns out, these two aren’t that far off. In fact, when I started making changes to my life, both categories seemed to fall into place at exactly the same time.
Whether love life, business, or friendship — attraction follows pretty much the same rules. And they might not be what you think.
Ready to finally start attracting the right people into your life? Follow these five tips:
1. Get clear on who you are, not who you’re told to be.
So often, our desires are a lot more aligned with society’s expectations than with what we really want. Is a good-looking guy or gal really your top priority? What about a sense of humor? Do you really want to work around the clock for that rich client? Or would a relaxed atmosphere with a little less money work for you?
2. Picture your ideal, and be specific.
You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what it is in the first place. Start thinking about the exact person you want to attract into your business or your life. Remember, you're the only one setting the rules here, so the sky’s the limit. Be specific on everything from their secret passions to their inner fears. When you know what you’re looking for, you’re a lot more likely to find it.
3. Get really good at repelling people.
The most common barrier to attracting people into your business or life is trying to please everyone. If you’re keeping everyone happy, then you’re not being special to anyone. When you are authentically yourself, some people are inevitably going to be repelled. And that’s a good thing. Once you start sending away the wrong fits, you’re making room for the right ones to come in.
4. Let yourself be found.
Think of it this way: You’re a lighthouse calling the ships in. If you don’t shine your light bright enough, no one’s going to be able to find you. So put yourself out there. Place yourself in situations where you can be found. Introduce yourself to everyone. Be as much of yourself as you possible when you first meet. Give the right people a chance to find you.
5. Be open to whatever comes along.
At the end of the day, business or love might not come in the form that we expected. But that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad fit. If you’re putting yourself out there authentically, watch who starts coming into your life. Sometimes who we are attracting can teach us a lot about ourselves that we didn’t know. And it might be a better fit than we expected.
At this exact moment, there's at least one person out there looking for exactly what you are. Whether it's a client, lover, or just a friend — somebody is trying to find you.
So give them a chance. Put yourself out there. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Be authentic. Don’t just be another carbon copy of someone else. Show people exactly who you are, so the right fits can find you.
When you open up and put yourself out there authentically, you don’t have to wait six months to find out something isn’t a fit. You’ll create a business you’re proud of and a life you’ll love right now.
And that already sounds attractive, doesn’t it?
Mike Iamele is the Boston-based author of Enough Already: Create Success on Your Own Terms, which takes a critical look at the dysfunctional pressures of modern success and leads readers through a powerful journey to create a new kind of success on their own terms. He has a bachelor's in communication from Northeastern University, and went on to receive his certification in herbal studies and a health and wellness coach certification from The Boston School of Herbal Studies and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, respectively.