When we are hurt, it can be very difficult to simply forgive and forget. We feel pain, anger, sadness or guilt over things that people have said or done to us.
Or perhaps you've been the one to upset someone else and feel frustrated with yourself?
It's human nature to mentally revisit upsetting experiences as a way of processing an experience.
Holding onto resentment is considered a way of punishing yourself or the other person. However, by carrying around this negative feeling, you are hurting yourself, because this drains your resources. Ultimately, you add more stress and anxiety to your mindset and physical body.
Believing in yourself can be a real challenge if you lack self respect and self love, which can make it even more difficult to simply forgive. Not many people have mastered the true art of self love, but when you can be satisfied in your own skin, you will find that things and circumstances bother you much less frequently, you will have an ability to let things go with minimal fight because you stay centered from your core and are true to who you are and your self-belief.
If you feel people are constantly criticizing or judging you, remember that it is your own internal processing system that makes you decide what they are saying is upsetting. You are effectively judging yourself, because chances are they have hit a nerve in an area where you feel weakness. And in turn, for them to say or do something hurtful to you is a result of their own criticism in themselves. So effectively you become not only a victim to them, but to yourself as well.
When you let go of resentment toward someone, you are not necessarily condoning or agreeing with what they have done but you instead allowing yourself to be free and liberated from the heaviness of carrying it around.
As you stop focusing on the mistakes of others, you will stop punishing yourself for your own.
Your ability to release what you decide are the wrongdoings of others will free your mind and improve your overall wellbeing. Nothing that anyone can do to you that has permanent effects unless you decide to hold on to it relentlessly.
Forgiveness is the doorway that leads to your having control of your destiny and self acceptance.
You can release the chains of your past, let go of the negativities that hold you back so you can make room for the future with a sense of freedom and liberation by releasing the weight of your exhausting sabotage.
Any day is a good time to think about letting go of some of these feelings of negativity towards yourself or others. Some people may even be your family or close work colleagues. Whoever they are, the solution is to appreciate that we all make mistakes and are ultimately on our own journey of self discovery.
Remember that you are not letting them off the hook but simply allowing yourself to release the strain so you can put your energy into something that is good for your mind, body and soul.
If you are finding it hard to forgive yourself or someone else, finish off these sentences:
It is useful for me to feel resentment toward _____________ because _____________
To be able to let go of this resentment toward _____________ I would need to _____________
If I allow myself to release this resentment, I will _____________
If I do not release this resentment _____________
He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive.
~ A Course in Miracles