I recently stumbled upon a quote by author Tom Robbins that perfectly describes why love often fails:
“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for someone else to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with someone more promising.
This can go on and on— series polygamy — until we admit that while a partner can add wonderful dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
In our work, my business partner, Aimee and I coach women and men towards more fulfilling love lives. We stress the importance of building a healthy and vibrant life now — regardless of your relationship status. The upside is tremendous:
1. Increased energy and vitality.
2. Greater self-esteem derived from within, rather than from external validation.
3. A greater propensity to attract like-minded, well-adjusted friends and lovers.
4. An increased likelihood of a successful, long-term romantic relationship. By filling your well from a variety of sources, you’re much less prone to be needy, critical or demanding of your partner.
A happy life is built deliberately and with care. Below, we offer suggestions on how to nurture yourself in all areas. Pick and choose as you please, try to balance your efforts between the areas.