What causes the most fear? When I ask this question in my workshops or lectures, a majority of people will home in on an answer based on their own personal experience. But, inevitably, all the answers are rooted in the same thing: uncertainty.
Uncertainty and fear of the unknown drive many people to depression, addiction, and other self-sabotaging and abusive patterns.
We cling to familiarity as a safety net. Change can feel life-threatening, simply because we don’t know what to expect. Moving forward into the unknown is extremely unnerving, but all transformation requires that we accept uncertainty and embrace the unknown. On the other side of these changes are a new, possibly better version of happiness and security. Learning to see change as an opportunity will help us in the long run.
Jim Rohn, an American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker, posits that the choices we make are motivated by one of two factors: inspiration or desperation. Inspired choices are motivated by the heart. When we make an inspired choice it feels expansive, exciting, and full of warmth. Desperate choices are usually ones we feel forced into. Many times they feel heavy, uncomfortable, and overwhelming. They come from the rational, analytical part of us that tends to overthink and judge.
Many of us stay in situations long past their expiration dates, or settle into experiences that don’t soothe our soul because we are reluctant to experience discomfort. In those moments, we're thinking with our heads instead of our hearts.
We fear that the choice we make could set us back or send our life off course. When it comes to making a decision, many of us are so focused on the worst-case scenario that we become paralyzed by our choices. But in my own journey, overcoming clinical depression, drug addictions, and eating disorders, I learned the power of my inner guide, and the importance of trusting the wisdom from my own heart.
Inspiration comes to us through our hearts. The happiest, most successful, and healthiest people you know have learned to trust their inner wisdom. Here are 10 things people who think with their hearts do differently:
1. They accept that they cannot control the future. If something is supposed to be a part of their life, it will be.
2. Rather than focusing on what could go wrong, they focus on what could go right.
3. They aren't trying to find their life's purpose, because living a full life is the purpose.
4. They see problems as pathways.
5. They act on the belief that life gets better by change, not chance.
6. They change what they can’t accept and surrender to what they can’t change.
7. They release what no longer serves them.
8. They believe that things don’t happen to them but for them.
9. They look within themselves for answers.
10. They know that what we learn and who we become on life’s journey is more important than the end goal. The journey is the real reward.
These insights are excerpted from the author's new book, Adventures for Your Soul.