How To Make Someone Squirt: A Step-By-Step Guide
Squirting is a form of ejaculation where a white-ish or clear fluid is released from the vulva during sexual pleasure or orgasm. There is some debate about where exactly this fluid comes from. It's generally believed to be fluid released from the Skene's glands, a set of glands located near the urethral sponge, when the surrounding erectile tissue is stimulated. It's also possible that squirting is released through the urethra itself or through the vaginal opening. The most important thing is that it can feel really good, and that pleasure is what really matters here.
Here's exactly how to make someone squirt (or how to make yourself squirt) and get it on this fun and adventurous way:
1. Ditch the expectations.
From women, squirting comes with its own set of pressures. It seems to have become another "impossible" sexual act we're meant to perform. This not only contributes to sexual shame; it also makes it hard to let go enough to squirt.
Legendary squirting pioneer and sex educator Lola Jean says she tries to stay away from the idea that you can "make" anyone do anything sexually. Instead, think of it more as enabling them to have the experience. "If they don't want to squirt, you're not going [to] make anyone do anything," Jean says.
Squirting also doesn't feel good for everyone (just like orgasms in general), so make sure the receiver is totally game before proceeding.
2. Get in the right mindset.
To get into the right mindset, you need to be sure you're both relaxed and in the mood. Because squirting involves release, being relaxed is key to feeling comfortable enough to let your body do its own thing without tensing up. "The woman needs to feel safe so she can completely let herself go. She needs to be relaxed, completely present, 100% in her body, and her mind may not be wandering," says licensed sex therapist Moushumi Ghose, LMFT.
Remember that this is about feeling pleasure, not performing for yourself or a partner. Enjoy the sensations your body is feeling and know that while you may not squirt, that's not the main purpose of what you are doing. The main purpose is pleasure.
3. Start by getting super aroused.
In order to squirt, the vagina and vulva need to be at full capacity for arousal. There is no rushing this game.
"Explore your body and internal vaginal tissue. See what areas have arousal and erotic potential," says AASECT-certified sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST. Set up a comfortable space where you and your partner can explore the body.
When you're aroused, the vagina naturally gets wet, the clitoris and labia swell and get darker, and everything becomes more sensitive. This heightened state of arousal is a cornerstone of squirting because in order to build up to a final release, you have to be willing to take the ride up to the top. For more ideas on how to get there, here's exactly how to make a woman orgasm and tips for more explosive orgasms.
4. Stimulate the G-spot area.
Once you or your partner are properly aroused, it's time to get to business. For manual stimulation, "the giver inserts fingers into the vagina and applies pressure, rather than friction, to the front wall of the vagina (near her stomach) one and a half to three inches in (every woman is different)," says Kenneth Play, a sex educator who has been teaching people to squirt for years.
This is the G-spot, which is less of a "spot" and more of an "area" that happens to have a lot of erectile tissue, as well as an area where you can stimulate the very back end of the clitoris. "You will know you found the spot because it changes texture and feels more 'rubbery' when you are aroused," Katherine Zagone, N.D., medical director and a sexual wellness expert at Gentera, tells mbg.
5. Get some sex toys.
Sex toys are an excellent way to up the ante on your squirting potential. While the G-spot can be stimulated manually, using a curved G-spot wand can be very useful. There are a ton of toys to choose from: something simple like the We-Vibe Rave or a heavier toy like the njoy Pure Wand might be a perfect fit.
G-spot stimulation alone is rarely enough to cause female orgasm or squirting, so you'll also want to get some toys for the clitoris to help get you to that heightened state of arousal. Jean suggests trying a clit-sucking toy such as the Womanizer. Your wand vibrator could also be a useful tool. We love Le Wand Petite and classic Magic Wand.
Communicate with your partner and experiment with what feels good. You might like vibration or you might not. Consistent pressure could be the thing that works for you. Maybe you enjoy circles over the area. Perhaps you like a combination of things. This experience will be super personal to everyone.
6. Learn to control the PC muscles.
Your pelvic floor muscles, also known as your pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, can make a big contribution to squirting. These are a hammock-like set of muscles that hold in your lower organs, from the uterus to the bowels. While having control over them is not an absolute in squirting, it helps.
Play pays special attention to mastery of these muscles. He recommends developing a "neuromuscular connection" with your PC muscles, meaning that you're able to control when you're contracting these muscles and whether you're pulling them inward or outward. "When the G-spot is stimulated vigorously, it usually creates a natural tendency to squeeze and pull inward instead of bearing down," he explains. "So, one of the keys to enabling squirting is to learn to bear down during intense G-spot stimulation."
If a partner is doing the stimulating, the receiver should still play an active role as well. "Ask her to alternately squeeze and bear down around your fingers to calibrate with her and know what it feels like when she does this," Play says.
Be sure to be gentle with yourself. Zagone says that while bearing down may work for you, controlling your PC muscles may simply mean letting them go or relaxing. Finding what works for you can take a lot of practice, so it's important to do your PC exercises a few times a week to be sure they're strong.
7. Don't forget lube.
Lube is critical in all sex acts. Don't sleep on it. Lube acts as a barrier between toys/fingers and the sensitive, mucus-rich vulva skin. Get some high-quality lube to use with your sex toys, fingers, and everything else. It enhances sexuality, pleasure, and arousal.
When in doubt, go for a water-based lube. Silicone lube is more slippery and requires less reapplication, but it can damage silicone toys. Pjur lube makes an excellent water-based lube that is free of parabens and chemicals.
You can also try a female arousal gel, such as from Promescent. While they can be too intense for some vulva owners, there are some brands that make a very mild, all-natural version that can help promote blood flow to the clitoris and vulva.
8. Be open to getting messy.
Just like you need to be in the right psycho-emotional state to be able to squirt, you need to be open to getting messy. While the amount and propulsion force of squirting liquid varies from person to person, it will very likely end in a mess. Instead of freaking out about it, embrace it. Skyler says that the mess should be seen as an erotic benefit, not something to get anxious about.
If you're nervous about the mess, simply put down a towel or two before getting busy. If you're feeling extra fancy, you can even buy a sex blanket that is specifically designed for period sex, squirting, and all other manner of sexual fluids. They're pricey, but they're definitely pretty cool.
It's also worth mentioning that while it's sometimes referred to as "female ejaculation," squirting doesn't always present as the gushing explosion you might be envisioning. Squirting is, like so many things in sex, unique for everyone.
"Some squirt leaks, drips, streams, and, yes, some of it ejects," Jean explains. "Squirting can happen during or independent of an orgasm. I like to refer to it as 'sexual applause': Something that's happening is feeling good, leading to a release of fluid."
The best positions for squirting.
While squirting can definitely happen during penis-in-vagina intercourse, the best sex positions for making someone squirt usually involve penetration using fingers or toys.
1. On her back.
Squirting takes diligence, patience, and multiple types of stimulation. With the receiver lying on her back, it's easier for the giver to gain access to every part of the body they need in order to produce squirting.
Although what works for someone is definitely not universal, Play has a winning squirting hack that he says has worked for tons of people. He breaks it down like this:
"The best angle is for the giver to be in a bent-over row position, crossing her body, with the leg farther away from you over your shoulder. In this position, your two middle fingers should be inside her, with the index finger and thumb pointing down toward her anus. You hook your middle and ring finger together and keep them flexed and locked. Then apply pressure with your palm against her vulva (like pushing toward her head), stimulating her clitoris," he says. "Then move your arm up and down, pressing down toward her anus and up toward the front wall of her vagina hard. The rubbing of the palm on the outside of her vulva is inducing sensation on her clitoris, while the fingers inside are causing sensation on the G-spot."
2. Standing upright.
Ghose also suggests standing upright for squirting. Stand against a wall so that you can lean against it for support. Be sure your legs spread wide enough so your partner has access to your entire vulva and vagina. It may be easier for the giver to be on their knees in front of you. Grab a pillow so the knees can be supported. If you're extra flexible, try placing a foot on the shoulder of the giver for even more vulva access.
3. Whatever the receiver prefers.
"Whatever position makes her feel most comfortable and makes it easier to access the particular spot that stimulates ejaculation will be the best position for her," Ghose says.
Communication is lubrication, so if something isn't working for you, speak up and be open to finding something that does.
The bottom line.
Zagone says that most couples who give squirting a try find that it increases their sexual bond. So this is definitely something worth exploring. With that being said, remember that while squirting is a fun and sexy thing, it isn't going to happen for every single person. And that is perfectly OK.
When it comes to sex, we should all be focusing on exploring the depths of pleasure we can experience rather than trying to achieve goals. Explore your body and have fun with it. If you squirt, that's great. If you don't, that's great too!
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